awkward-fallen-angel:

#translation: I just want all of this over. I wish I never rebelled in the first place. None of this would of happened. I screwed up. I killed the one person who I ever loved. Its all my fault

It blows my mind that I’ve seen this called a destruction of Cas’ character development. I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s grief and pain talking, not Cas. This is, after all, barely minutes after Metatron informs Cas that Dean is dead, and angels, properly controlled, don’t feel much of any emotion. Cas just wants that back, because it would be easier than hurting like he is, and then dying, like he knows he will due to the failing grace.