Dean is actually the sanest person on the show right now. He’s the only person in a somewhat healthy place. Because he’s fucking trying so damn hard. Everyone around him is running around like he’s a fucking time-bomb, not actually paying attention to the fact that as long as he’s hunting regularly, he’s fine. He has nightmares, but he had those before. He gets angry easily, but Dean’s a stubborn, grumpy asshole and always has been (he has ptsd like no other does no one remember him after purgatory? after hell?).
But he’s fucking trying. He’s being honest with himself and everyone around him. As honest as he can be without giving too much of himself away. He hasn’t given up, but right now he has no other option than to live with what he’s been dealt until something other than the fucking Book of the Damned comes up. Sam may see that as giving up, but Dean certainly doesn’t. Dean wants to find the option that, even if it does kill him (though he doesn’t necessarily want to die), doesn’t put everyone around him in danger and damn himself further in the process. Dean has (seemingly) learned from the mistakes that put him in this mess in the first place. He doesn’t want to keep making deals with the devil, and he doesn’t want anyone else to make deals for him.
Dean is tired of losing people and he’s tired of losing himself. He’s tired of loving people only for them to be gone in an instant. He’s tired of the cycle.
Everyone is putting their all into finding something to “fix” Dean. “For Dean,” they all say. Chasing their tails and doing things behind Dean’s back like they think that’s going to solve everything.
Dean was the sanest person on the show. But the secrets and lies have now killed the closest thing Dean’s had to a sister and that’s what’s going to push him over the edge.
They didn’t find a cure. They unleashed a monster.
#YEAH MAN #I THINK THATS WHY DEAN HAS BEEN KEPT ISOLATED REALLY #LIKE CAS HAS ONLY REALLY BEEN TALKING TO SAM THIS WHOLE TIME #AND CHARLIE DIDN’T SEE DEAN THIS EP #HASNT SEEN MUCH OF HIM FOR THIS WHOLE THING #AND WHEN SHE DID IT INVOLVED GETTING THE CRAP BEAT OUT OF HER #SO REALLY EVERYBODY IS WORKING ON THE INFORMATION SAM GIVES THEM #WHICH I THINK IS UNARGUABLY REALLY SKEWED RIGHT NOW AND MOTIVATED BY FEAR AND THE UNHEALTHY ELEMENTS OF THE BROTHERS RELATIONSHIP#SO DEAN HAS TO BE KEPT AWAY FROM THEM IN THE NARRATIVE OR SOMEONE #AT SOME POINT #WOULD BE LIKE #NAH SAM YOUR WAY ISN’T GOING TO WORK GO FOR A RUN CLEAR YOUR HEAD #JUST LIKE HOW LAST YEAR THEY HAD TO HAVE SOME BULLSHIT THAT MEANT THAT CAS WAS KEPT AWAY #COZ IF HE WAS THERE HE WOULD FIND OUT/DEAN WOULD TELL HIM THE TRUTH – via nimthirial
I’m actually glad that you pointed this out, because i was just thinking about this earlier today.
We’ve had a lot of Sam/Cas interaction and a lot of Sam/Charlie interaction. Just a lot of Sam/Other. And Dean’s been pretty alone in this whole thing. We see him alone constantly. He went and found that nest of vamps alone because Sam was awol. He’s been spending time alone in the bunker (working out, listening to music, etc). Not that he’s expressed feelings of loneliness, because I’m sure he likes to be away from everyone once in a while when the only thing they want to know of him is if he’s okay or how he’s feeling, but I’m sure it’s nagging on him, being away from people.
And Sam, though his concern is coming from a good place, has actually forced Dean further into this isolation by keeping secrets and making those Dean’s closest to also keep those secrets. Sam is telling them that it’s the better of their options (which Sam feels there’s only one at this point anyway). He’s also skewed how they view Dean.
Sam is an extremely unreliable narrator and he sees this BAD THING that’s happened to Dean and thinks that because it’s not gone, it’s automatically going to get worse. He thinks Dean’s reluctance to choose the dark road to fix the problem is him giving up, when really it’s Dean trying to change the path that they’ve always taken; Dean is trying to choose a different route than he did last season because he knows that it doesn’t end well.
Sam has found one solution and has fixated on it. He tells the others that it’s their only solution. He’s manipulating them, whether it’s intentional or not, to think so irrationally that they can’t see what’s happening properly. They can’t see Dean as Dean. They can only see the Mark. They can only see him as a problem to be fixed, when the solution lies within Dean himself, not an outside force. And because they don’t want to lie to his face, they stay away from him and never actually see how he’s coping with their own eyes. They only know what Sam is telling them, and he’s telling them he’s getting worse.
Dean is trying very hard to keep the Mark in check and he’s actually doing pretty well, all things considered. As long as he hunts, gets the kill out of his system in a way that helps instead of hurts, as long as he’s working out or listening to music, he’s good. As long as he has his support system, his friends and family, he’s perfectly fine. In fact, he’s better than normal. He knows that he needs to find a permanent solution, of course. He’s expressed his concerns of losing himself to the Mark or dying altogether. He doesn’t want to die, but he doesn’t want to go darkside either. All he can do right now is check himself until he can find a solution that works best for everyone.
But Sam’s refusal to see this as a problem that Dean can control and find a better solution to has alienated Dean. Sam has refused Dean the support he desperately needs. Not only that, but the secrets that Sam has been keeping have gotten one of Dean’s closest friends killed. Charlie was family for Dean. Charlie was a little sister. Charlie was a victim of Winchester co-dependency and Dean recognizes that. He never asked anything of her regarding this mess. In fact, he promised he’d make it up to her, that he’d get better and that everything would be okay.
And now she’s dead and he will inevitably believe it was all on him.
This will push him over that edge, and even though he will feel the guilt as strongly as if he had killed her himself, he will kill everything and everyone that he feels is responsible for her death. And I have a feeling that that’s going to include Sam and Cas.
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