literaryreference:

emir-dynamite:

nazerine:

plasmalogical:

paxamericana:

Silicon Valley’s ‘Startup Castle’ is looking for roommates, and the requirements are completely bonkers

good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day

I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them

The tech-bro intelligentsia.

The current top comment on that article is amazing, though:

“Guys, guys, guys–

I appreciate everyone picking up on the discriminatory and overall douchey and insufferable nature of the stated requirements, but I think everyone has been looking at this the wrong way.

You should be MUCH more horrified. Do they sound like successful tech entrepreneurs to you? Who works in tech but doesn’t spend any time on the Internet?

This is clearly a trap. The Buck Estate is a house of horror. Let’s go through their list.

You can’t listen to music with “explicit lyrics.”
Translation: You can’t have too much of an apparent rebellious streak. You need to be sedate, pliable.

You can’t spend more than 4 hours in front of a screen per week. You need to work out at least 15 hours per week. You can’t have a “complex diet.” You can’t do drugs. You can’t be receiving treatment for a psychiatric disorder.
Translation: You can’t be sedentary. You need to be as fit as possible. You can’t have special dietary needs that speak to some kind of digestive problem or autoimmune issue. You must be clean and as free as possible of any physically-damaging drugs, whether illicit or prescribed. You can’t be regularly seeing a therapist.

You can’t own personal items that cost more than 500 dollars.
Translation: You can’t be wealthy. Someone is bound to notice when a wealthy person goes missing.

You can’t have participated in more than 1 political protest.
Translation: You can’t be involved in some kind of organization or community effort. If you’ve been to more than 1 protest, odds are there is a network of people who know you and communicate with you at least semi-regularly.

You cannot have a substantial social media presence.
Translation: Again, you can’t be part of any significant network of people with whom you regularly communicate.

You can’t have money or gifts from your parents.
Translation: If your parents have given you things like money or a car, you more than likely have regular contact with them. They would definitely miss you if you were to disappear.

You can’t wear makeup more than twice a week.
Translation: You have to be a man. Remember the socio-cultural context of this house. You’re supposed to be working in Silicon Valley. Women are expected to wear makeup to work. This is a subtle way to skew heavily toward male applicants without outright stating “No women.” The latter would be awfully conspicuous and would have drawn immediate ire, if not quite suspicion. You see, most of their…what you might call “clients” are men.

You can’t have more than 1 tattoo.
Translation: Tattoos are identifying marks, and having too many tattoos makes it more difficult to dispose of a body.

Do you see it now?

If you meet the baffling requirements to live at the Buck Estate and you show up on the premises, they will murder you and harvest your organs and body parts to sell to ailing Silicon Valley elite.

Allegedly. So one might idly surmise.

Better safe than sorry, though.”