habitatfordeanwinchester:

habitatfordeanwinchester:

alright folks, so for the first time in my life, something actually happened to me that would make a good au fanfic prompt, so here it is.

so basically a few months ago my roommates and i were talking about why boys draw dicks all over things. this discussion eventually deteriorated to the point where we were in hysterics laughing about dicks just popping up wherever you least expected them, and so the idea for Hide The Dick was born.

HTD is essentially one of the greatest games ever
conceived, or at least it seems that way to us. the rules are simple: someone hides the dick (a cartoon, laminated creation of my virgin roommate who drew from imagination, in case you were wondering) and the others look for it. if you find it, you announce where you’ve found it and then it’s your turn to hide it. we keep a tally of points on the whiteboard in the kitchen. 

as you might imagine, it has been substantially easier just to hide this game from visitors, rather than explain it, so no one knows we’ve been doing this.

well today for some reason the freaking smoke detectors in our building start going off like crazy in all of the apartments. two of my roommates and i had already been waiting around for a plumber anyway, so we called the landlord and she said she’d send someone down.

and send someone she did. 

shortly after the smoke alarms commenced their hellish symphony, we hear a knock at the door, so my friend gets up to open it, and in walks what is possibly THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAN ANY OF US HAD EVER SEEN. like, i shit you not, after he left the room one of my roommates looked me dead in the eye and said “i’d be in for a foursome with that, if you guys are down”, like that is how attractive this man was. 

so at this point he’s fixing our smoke alarm and he’s pretty and we’re being a bunch of heart-eyed children, but in fairness we were also almost certain he moonlights as a firefighter when he isn’t working for the smoke detector people, and firefighters can turn even the most reasonable people into goo. after a bit he tells us he thinks he knows what the problem is and he’s just going to replace all the smoke detectors. so he leaves for the hardware store down the road and he says he’ll only be gone for a few minutes.

we, of course, being rational twenty-somethings, used this time to gush about how attractive he was. but anyway, he comes back and swaps out the smoke detectors and suddenly makes his way into the kitchen and he just goes: “you know what, while i’m here, i should actually check the date on your fire extinguisher…” and about halfway through this sentence a few things start to happen simultaneously.

ash, one of my roommates, her eyes just fly open in abject horror. (this is the girl who drew the dick in the first place) and all she manages to get out is “i just want you to know we play this game and w-”

and kelsey (magic-not-realism), my other roommate, turns on her with this horrified expression, mixed with like utter defeat and she doesn’t have to say a word but we all know her brain is just going “you fucking didn’t!!!!”

so i turn around just in time to see this random, innocent firefighter hold up the fire extinguisher with the dick taped to the back. 

that’s it, that’s the prompt. (i mean more happened, but it feels more fun to leave it unspecific). if you ever turn this into something (particularly of the destiel variety) please send it to me!

hey again internet peeps! so, believe it or not, i actually got a handful of anons about this and, back by popular demand, is my HTD story. 

ok so, we’re standing there with this hot firefighter and all of us are pretty much just staring at him in shock at this point. this was truly a cosmic joke of epic proportions. 

what you have to understand is that that dick had only been on the fire extinguisher for like, maybbbbbeee 12 hours because ash had just hid it there before we went to bed, so no one fucking expected this, least of all shawn the firefighter.

for a moment he just kind of stared at it, literally unable to process what he held in his hand. i’m not sure how many of you actually referred to the visual aid in the original post, but for those who didn’t, this dick is as anatomically correct as you could possibly expect from a virgin. like, ash and i laid on the couch the day she drew it and i forced her to draw and shade veins and pubes, so like, clearly an effort was made. there was no coming back from that kind of detail.

this was a dick with a purpose.

so shawn finally regains his wits and he untapes the dick and stares at it some more and then he lifts it up towards us and points with the most confused expression on his face, and just goes in the most disbelieving tone: “A penis….??? On MY fire extinguisher?!”

and so again, all of us are flying into action at the same time. ash is alternating between this high keening noise of embarrassment and fighting off giggles in between breathless “i’m sorry’s”. kelsey is laughing nervously and kind of trying to explain the game a little bit and as for me, well, i’d completely lost my shit at that point.

i was practically in tears just from the shock on his face and so finally i’m like “you win! oh my god, you win!” and i got up from the couch and went into the kitchen and drew him a space on the scoreboard and gave him a point. now, my back is turned at this point but kelsey and ash are just laughing now and every few seconds you hear shawn’s disbelieving voice go “a penis?”

anyway, i should probably be wrapping this up so i’m just going to do the cliff-notes of the rest of this visit

• shawn complimented the dick before he left
• he confirmed that this was not the weirdest thing he’s ever stumbled across accidentally
• i asked him to hide the dick again, since that’s how we play and he said “i can’t be hiding penises in your rooms i’ll probably get in trouble for that” (ftr i didn’t say rooms, we always hide it in common areas jeez shawn get your mind out of the gutter)
• we apologized about a couple hundred times
• he went to our neighbors to install smoke detectors and it occured to us that he might tell them about the game
• we drafted a plan to move if that happens
• he came back and we explained the origin story of the dick and asked him why boys draw penises on things and he reported that he’d never had that particular urge
• he left us his business card on his way out the door and then we laid on the couch and laughed about this until we cried