Empty Spaces

schmerzerling:

destielfanfic:

Empty Spaces by schmerzerling
Rating: T
Word Count: 60,300
Summary: 

Dean is fine. The way he sees it, things are simple. He had a house and a family and food in his stomach, and now he doesn’t. And yeah, that’s a downer, but he’s not going to let that stop him from being fine, because he’s in control of the situation. He definitely doesn’t need anyone to save him. And it’s not like the weird guy with the nice butt from down the road is the knight-in-shining-armor type, anyway.

There are stories that put your through an emotional wringer by showing how unfair life can be, and then there are stories that make everything ten times worse by having characters accept their situation with a smile. This is the latter one. The fic starts with Dean bringing terminally ill John home from the hospital and becoming his only caretaker. The loneliness that envelopes him is only heightened by everybody else not giving a damn about John or Dean. Sam, Bobby, Ellen are all well meaning, but not really observant. After all, Dean never asks for help, he must be doing good, right?  Dean’s so used to being neglected by everybody that he internalized it with gusto. And so, the slow descent into eating disorder hell starts. 

This beautifully written, poignant fic has a phenomenal Dean’s voice – full of raw emotions and bitter, self-deprecating humor. The fic is a great example of showing not telling. Instead of describing anorexia and caretaker burnout symptoms, it immerses the reader straight into the mental trap that prevents Dean from caring about himself. The fic is very honest about depression and it may hit harder if you’re already suffering from it. But fear not, there’s also hope and climbing out of the dark hole of despair. When everybody left Dean alone, a stranger extended a helping hand and became the only person Dean could really count on. The tentative friendship between Dean and Cas blossoms slowly but surely, mostly because of Cas’ stubbornness. And while Cas has his own struggles, he’s the one who understands Dean the most. In the end, they save each other.

Fanworks inspired by this fanfic at destielfanworks (other fanworks by title)

Ahhhhhh, what a nice review!!!