cosmicakes:

beranyth-inactive:

Those perceptions that functioning in purity culture as an asexual girl is somehow easier are all complete nonsense.  

Sure, you may not have to bury yourself in shame for every sexual thought, but you’re still taught to see yourself as a commodity that you have no choice in giving away.  It might alleviate some of the pressure in the moment–give you an external excuse to avoid having sex right now–but it’s all about “saving it for your future husband.”  It’s training young girls to hinge their choices and their bodily autonomy off of a man they haven’t even met yet.  Everything comes back to the Imaginary Future Husband and his rights over you.  We were literally told how we’d be betraying him by kissing someone else, or having sexual thoughts about anyone but him.  You think there was any exception for those of us betraying him by not having interest in him at all?

Don’t want that husband?  Don’t want to have sex on your wedding night?  Too bad, that’s what you’re here for.  Bonus points on the relgious spin on the “soulmate” idea, where if you feel like this you’re resisting the Perfect Man god already has picked out for you–how dare you refuse his gift!  How ungrateful!

Purity culture is never about girls not ever having sex; it’s about men’s obsession with the idea of having a girl who has no sexual experiences but them.  It’s about putting control of women’s sexuality in the hands of men they haven’t even met yet.  It’s about keeping food unspoiled so you can eat it later.

A woman who always remains disinterested in sex isn’t seen as “keeping herself pure” forever–she’s seen as a piece of meat at the grocery store that no one buys and it just goes rotten and gets wasted.

there’s also the ever-present wonder if perhaps you’re not really asexual and are just in fact really, really repressed which is a whole other can of worms that is just as damaging to deal with.