abusetroubles:

informative-feminist:

So I was at the gynecologist today and while I waited for the doctor to come in, they gave me this sheet to look at, as part of protocol. Every doctor should do this.

{Image: A graph depicting the power and control cycle. It says: “Understand Abusive Relationships.”

“Some people use physical or sexual violence to try to control their partner. Here are some other controlling behaviors and tactics that are common in abusive relationships.”

One – Using Coercion and Threats: Makes and/or carries out threats to hurt me; Threatens to commit suicide; Threatens to report/embarrass/out me to an agency or others; Threatens to leave me; Pressures me to commit illegal actions.

Two – Using Intimidation: Makes me feel afraid or unsafe with actions, gestures, looks; Throws things; Breaks things; Damages my property; Abuses my pets; Displays weapons.

Three – Using Emotional Abuse: Puts me down; Makes me feel bad about myself; Calls me names; Makes me think I am crazy, misinterpreting or overreacting; Plays mind games; Humiliates me; Makes me feel guilty or ashamed.

Four – Using Isolation: Controls what I do, who I see, what I read, where I go and who I talk to; Limits my volunteer, religious, or outside activities; Monitors my behaviors, and communication; Uses jealously to justify actions.

Five – Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: Makes light of the abuse; Doesn’t take my concerns seriously; Denies abuse ever happened; Shifts blame for the abuse to me by saying I caused it.

Six – Using Children: Makes me feel guilty about the children; Uses the children to relay messages; Uses visitation to harass me; Threatens to take the children away.

Seven – Using Stereotypes: Treats me like a servant; Acts like the “head of the household;” Makes all the big decisions; Defines each person’s role in the relationship; Uses gender, race, class or other stereotypes against me.

Eight – Using Economic Abuse: Prevents me from getting or keeping a job; Makes me ask for money; Gives me an allowance; Takes my money; Refuses to let me know about or have access to shared income.