Team Free Will:  A Complete Beginner’s Guide, by Dean Winchester.

caffeinedeathwarrior:

1.  This is Dean.  The star of the show. 

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He specializes in being being heterosexual and kicking monster ass.

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2.  There are three things Dean Winchester absolutely does not do:

Shorts.

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Chick flick moments.

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And dudes.

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3.  He’s also always 100% honest with himself.

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4.  This is Sam.  Also known as “the less handsome one.”

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He specializes in having stupidly long, girly hair and being really tall.

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5.  Dean absolutely does not project his personal issues onto Sam.

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Like wearing women’s underwear.

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Or being attracted to guys.

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Or flirting with Cas.

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6.  He’s a bit of a weirdo.

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(But if you touch even one stupidly long hair on his head, I’ll skip rope with your entrails.)

7.  And this…is Castiel.

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He specializes in being a weird, dorky little guy and having stupidly pretty, stupidly blue eyes with stupidly long lashes, that you just want to heterosexually drown in forever.   

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Oh yeah, and then there’s the whole “angel” thing.

8.  Cas doesn’t really get sarcasm.  Or pop culture references (though he’s kinda gotten better at that last part.)

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When he’s confused, he tilts his head to the side and scrunches up his eyebrows, and you kinda just want to heterosexually hold him forever and ever.

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9.  And most importantly, Dean Winchester is NOT attracted to Castiel.

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He doesn’t have wet dreams about the sound of his voice.

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He doesn’t touch him just a little more than he needs to, and think about it for days on end.

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He never thinks about what it would be like to cook for him, and cuddle up on the sofa, and watch chick flicks together.

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I mean, yeah, he does occassionally fantasize about what it would be like to run his fingers through his hair, but don’t ALL straight guys do that with their platonic bro-pals?

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And yeah, he has occasionally gotten a heterosexual boner while looking at him, but that’s only natural.  I mean, just look at the guy. 

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So yeah, Dean Winchester is not attracted to Cas.  Because Dean Winchester is 100% straight.  

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10.  So yeah , that’s Team Free Will:  one ex-bloody junky, a high school dropout and my boyf- my huggy bear- and CAS. 

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And no, we’re not accepting any new admissions.

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