I will see your Buddy Cop Movie and raise you “A retired FBI Agent and his morally grey Ex-Mercinary Husband help their Inspired and Well Trained Son through his first assignment– what was supposed to be a simple protection detail went way overboard and now its Retired Dads To The Rescue”. Also Helen Mirrin is the Vodka Aunt and Tom Holland is the brother who became a world famous dancer (his gun-happy dads were very happy and supportive and Idris Elba participated in childhood dance classes).
Featured scenes: Elba and Rooker are ducked behind a wall, getting shot at, arguing about which ammo is for which gun, no, give me that, that’s MINE you shouldnt have put your stuff in my bag!!
Rooker demanding, “it’s been years since I had to follow your rules, remind me. Is THIS a situation in which I’m allowed to KILL PEOPLE”
Elba, ducking bullets “YES”
Elba and Rooker debate over how to get to the nearest safe place, but they use domestic, arbitrary reasons for why their way is right. “Trust me, i know what I’m doing. If we go your way, its going to be like the Muffin Disaster of ‘02 all over again” “YOU SAID YOU’D NEVER MENTION THE BURNED MUFFIN THING AGAIN” “IT’S CALLED A KITCHEN TIMER”
After every bicker session, they hug it out and grumble about letting the other paint the kitchen green, if it’s really that important. John Boyega is mortified. “Dads! Not in front of the asset! I’m trying to be a professional here”
We of course get Dad Jokes amist bullets and bombs. So many dad jokes.
Helen Mirrin, the Godmother Vodka Aunt, swoops in with a sniper rifle on her fur-clad shoulder and informs the Dads that they are being stifling and overprotective, and they gotta let the kid kill people on his own some day. She hands Boyega a grenade like it’s a toy. “Here you go, kiddo, you had better to toss that at the enemy tac-team thats spying in the east window.”
At the end, the Rival Agent is stupified that the biggest name Agent and Merc from twenty years ago are Boyega’s dads. Mortified that he even tried to compete. Rooker makes ugly faces at him behind everyone’s backs.
After the debriefing and inquiry is over, Boyega meets his brother for lunch, tattered suit and dirty everything intact. Theyre eating hot dogs on a bench in the park. Boyega is detailing all the things their dads did. Tom Holland laughs. There’s a bus stop advert for his dance show behind him. He tells Boyega “you knew darn well this was going to happen when you decided to become an agent. You could have picked something tamer, but you wanted to live up to the family name. And you did. So what are you going to do now?”
Boyega sighs and sets down his hot dog. Brushes off his hands. “Well. I guess I gotta go get my next assignment.” Cut scene
The after credit bonus is Elba and Rooker standing in a half-renovated kitchen, surounded by paint-color-cards, talking over each other about which shade of green is most flattering
Write a script
LMAO maybe not a script, but an online chapter by chapter, fanfic-style novella, I can maybe arrange 😉
PLEASE
Published
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