You know what? I’ve had it. I’ve had it with posting vague shit and having friends come to me in private and say they agree but are too afraid to say anything in public. I’m sick of seeing only a couple other people vague blogging and also being largely publicly ignored. I’m sick of pretending that what’s happening in my fandom isn’t toxic bullying of the worst sort.
So I’m just going to come out and say it.
The Supernatural fandom IS NOT TRASH.
Look, I’m sorry about what’s happened to Euclase. Anyone with a heart would be sorry to see a fellow human and fan bullied and abused. But what I’m seeing now is the bullied becoming the bully. What I’m seeing is a Big Name Fan using her platform to publicly, noisily, and cruelly shit on an entire fandom, as well as going after individuals who don’t support her in the precise way she wants to be supported. 99% plus of us have never done a damn thing to her, and many of us think she’s wonderful, skilled, and amazing. And instead of this being treated as a “a few bad eggs” situation it’s instead become “one bad apple spoils the bunch.” We’re all being told collectively we have to apologize for what a handful of people have done. We’re getting accused of victim blaming. We’re being compared to #notallmen.
I’ve known hundreds of people in the online Supernatural fandom over the years. You know who we predominately are? Queer women suffering from mental illnesses who have ourselves been bullied, assaulted, and/or abused. To compare us to the dominate patriarchal norms of modern society and say that we as an online fandom are sheltering abusers by not calling them out is fucking insane. I’m sorry, I know I’m not making the most cogent argument, but I’ve been watching this go on for weeks and I’m beyond furious. Honest to fucking god if any of us actually knew who was sending the anonymous hate don’t you think we’d expose them? This isn’t a case of “the one frat dude who jokes about rape in the locker room not getting called on it.” This is all of us collectively looking around helplessly going, “we don’t know who is responsible either and we want to see it stop but we don’t know how to help.” And then being told in the most toxic terms that because we don’t know, because we can’t stop the abuse, we are the same as the abusers.
This is fucking bullshit.
A lot of us are standing up and saying we want to help, but unless we say it in a way that accepts culpability we’re getting shot down, accused of peddling platitudes, accused of deliberarely sheltering these horrible people in our midst. That is *fucking nuts.* And seeing it passed off as normal discourse – seeing it go around that the only way I can show support is by agreeing that the fandom that is full of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met is garbage – this so-called discourse being bruited around as normal is the most toxic thing I have personally witnessed in my 20+ years in online fandoms.
I’ve said nothing, because I’m scared, because I don’t want to bring the anger and the anonymous hate and the public shaming by Euclase/EliciaDonze down on myself.
But I have HAD IT.
I have never sent anonymous hate. I have received anonymous hate. I have been in the Supernatural fandom for almost a decade, have made some of my closest friends here, had people who’d never set eyes on me in real life support me through months when I was suicidal and depressed. This fandom *does* en masse believe in Always Keep Fighting. This fandom *is* mostly good people, a family, forming the wonderful support network on which so many of us depend. We’re not a fucking shadow organization spying on our neighbors looking for the Evil one (I’m reminded of that post that includes the line “I saw Goody Procter talking to the devil and she had a bad Steven Universe head canon”). We’re a collective of widely disparate people, the vast majority of whom are just trying to be the best people we can be every day. Yes we make mistakes. Yes we can be unwittingly cruel. Yes Supernatural is a deeply flawed show in a lot of ways. But to say that all of us are party to this deliberate baiting and cruelty is fricken madness and is utterly untrue.
Flat out. If I knew who was sending hate, I’d out them. I’d shame them. I’d ostracized them. I HAVE DONE SO, AS HAVE OTHERS, with the “Desti-ew-er” anti crowd. When we know who the antis are, they DO get called out and left to play their hate games amongst themselves. I’ve seen that happen repeatedly.
We don’t know who is sending the hate to Euclase. We are not sheltering these people intentionally in our midst. Tell me a concrete, actual way I can help and I will do it. But I refuse to condemn my dearest friends, my online family. I refuse to condemn an entire fandom based on the actions of a few. And I flat out refuse to continue to keep my mouth shut about this manipulative bullying simply because I’m scared.
I *am* scared. I don’t want to get hate. I don’t want to bring this storm down on myself.
But the Supernatural fandom as a whole isn’t trash and I’m fucking sick of seeing it called that.
Give us a specific monster to fight and we’ll fight it. Until then, I’m tremendously sorry for the hate I’ve seen Euclase get but I’ve sent none of it, will swear none of my friends have either, and I refuse to apologize for something I have never done – both in that I have never sent anon hate to anyone in my life, and also that I am not knowingly sheltering anyone else who has done so. And I don’t need a personal pat on the back nor am I looking for one. I’m looking to have toxic manipulative bullying stop being tossed around as if it’s normal. I’m sick of all my friends saying privately they agree with my past vague blogs but they’re too scared publicly to speak up. I’m sick of seeing this group become riddled by fear and divided over this insanity.
I’m speaking up.
This – both the anonymous hate AND the public group shaming – has to stop.
This isn’t normal.
I don’t like to get into wank, but I one hundred percent support this. The fandom is made up of wonderful, good people who aren’t hateful. I don’t know why this artist alone gets so much hate, but it’s not representative of the SPN fandom and it shouldn’t be used to defame us.
I too avoid wank and this may lose me followers, but i’m sick of it too. When i first heard about this crap, i felt really bad for the artist concerned. I offered help, advice and support and she basically told me to fuck off before her minions descended to tell me how wrong my response (offering support, WTF?)was. So i blocked her and a whole bunch of other people. WE ARE NOT TRASH, we cannot police what we cannot see, we know there are arseholes in the fandom. I’ve been in this fandom since the beginning, there have always been idiots. but 99% of people are lovely supportive good people. This whole thing is turning into the worst kind of emotional manipulation.
Name and shame, folks. And block, block, block. That’s the only thing that stops anon/non-anon hate. Hell, I’ll block sometimes for what seems like a stupid reason, but it’s only to help me.
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