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What They Don’t Tell You

•Even after you cut someone toxic/abusive out of your life, they drain you

•They get to walk away and pretend like it didn’t happen, while you’re left to pick up the pieces

•Sometimes they’ll play victim, try to garner all the sympathy and attention even though you know they have no right

•Sometimes they’ll take a fake high road, accuse you of lying and say they did nothing wrong, that you hurt them, and pretend that they’re better

•Some won’t take no for an answer

•They’ll do anything to put the blame on you. To make you seem like the villain or the monster

•Most will hurt someone again. And the hardest part is accepting that it won’t be your fault

•You’ll feel a void in your life where they were. You might miss them. That’s normal.

•You have to relearn so many things. What actual healthy love/friendships/relationships are

•You need to learn to trust again, to see the world as more then its darkness

•You’ll think you’re faking it sometimes. Even if others believe you, the what if will always creep up

•You need support. No one can do this alone

•Healing isn’t linear. It has its ups and its downs. Some vary day to day

•Just because you have a bad day doesn’t mean you’re regressing

•Everyone heals differently, but there will always be a scar

•Somethings may never be the same for you, somethings will trigger you. And that’s ok

•Nothing you did caused this. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t do anything. THEY chose to hurt YOU.

•Some abusers might have loved you, and it’s hard to accept that. Remember that this is toxic, unhealthy love

•You don’t have to forgive them. But you also don’t have to never forgive. Whatever helps you heal is what you need to do

•You may lose more people then just the one. Whether it’s people who support them, won’t support you, people you now see differently, etc. That’s ok

•You get to choose whose in your life