If a man says he’s going to hurt himself unless you do what he says, let him. You aren’t responsible for his actions. You are not guilty for what he does to himself, you don’t owe him, you are not his thing to control, you don’t exist to serve him, you are allowed to go on living your life.
The same goes for a woman, like don’t let anyone do that to you. Men are more likely to do it, absolutely, but remember women can too, and to take care of YOURSELF in these situations. You are not accountable for someone else’s actions
i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second
anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk
and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something
paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.
i say, paul.
is that a nerf gun.
yeah, says paul.
i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.
he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?
and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–
a foam dart hits me in the leg.
i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.
i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.
no dart this time. okay. sweet.
so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it
anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.
“i equip my trusty laser revolver. there’s basically no point in it being a revolver and not an automatic pistol except for the aesthetic. honestly it’s just really inconvenient to have only six shots of fuckin light energy at a time but it’s a labor of love for a space cowboy”
ok but consider: capacitors that recharge automatically but not instantly, so in the few seconds between each shot, you have 5 other capacitors to cycle through, leaving the first capacitor ready to fire again by the time it is again aligned with the lens assembly and trigger mechanism.
in that sense, the purpose of a laser revolver’s cylinder would be like the cylinder of a traditional ballistic revolver and more like a rotary barrel assembly (which is used to allow each barrel time to cool down before another round is fired through it, reducing wear-and-tear), though due to the fact that its direct function is to align the ordnance with the weapon assembly, it would still be considered a cylinder, making the weapon properly a revolver.
Yes! I want SCIENCE in my science fiction. Thank you.
Me and Ryer working on a “dive” behavior with the long target pole.
This is a good example of how the behaviors people often like to malign as ‘forced tricks’ are entirely voluntary. Look how eagerly Ryer waits for that cue and then dives for the target.
Cool thing I learned:
A lot of these “tricks” are actually to help provide quality care for animals in the least stressful way possible
For example, trainers at the Minnesota Zoo train bears to touch their noses to batons (much like the otter is doing in the video) so that zookeepers can examine the bears without handling them. Getting bears to turn their heads, stand on their hind legs, or turn around helps zookeepers get a good look at how the bears look and move (which is important to monitor their health).
Baton training also provides the most amount of safety to trainers as possible, and bears willfully play and enjoy the activities and the treats that come with them.
Baton training also helps bears get vaccinated. Without being distracted by an activity and willfully exposing their sides to the trainers, bears would have to be tranquilized to receive their immunizations. That puts a lot of stress on the bear’s body and can be a traumatic experience.
When bears are distracted and happy, zookeepers can give them a quick shot and the bear hardly notices!
So yeah training can be for purposes that benefit the animals, not just for entertainment. But training could also be an enrichment activity that offers mental stimulation.
This is such a great explanation of all the husbandry training that we do. Some examples of husbandry behaviors in disguise that we have:
Dive: it gives the otters exercise, and it could be used for future research such as breath holding time, how swimming effects heart rate, etc so that we can keep learning more about these animals and their physiology.
Retrieve or Fetch: looks like just fun, but it can actually be used for animal safety. If a foreign object gets into the exhibit we can ask them to retrieve it so we can safely remove it.
Full Body Tactiles (touching them full handed on their back): looks like we are just petting the otter and showing off how much trust we have (which like yes kinda but keep listening), but actually it allows us to check body condition and feel for any lumps or swelling on their back. It can be great early detection for tumors, spinal problems, and hidden scabs.
I work at a zoo and the keepers are incredible with training. It is so so useful. By being able to do more veterinary-related conscious, the less stressful it is for the animal.
Once, it was before i started but, they even managed to get a full blood sample from the tail of a conscious tiger – purely by using his training. Its not for fun or show, its genuinely makes it easier and less stressful for everyone/every animal involved.
It’s also for the animals’ fun, no? Like it would be terrible for us to keep these animals without seeing to their mental health and happiness. Learning things like this is a chance for them to exercise their cleverness in determining what the keeper is trying to teach them, and practicing them just looks like it’s fun for that otter.
🙌 TOTALLY. Training is also a form of enrichment. Getting animals to problem solve and use their brains is fun for them and incredibly stimulating. Sometimes we train them to do simple useless things just because having them learn new things is also good for them.
Unexpected Benefit of Black Panther: my local pet shelters went from having something like 50-60 black cats between them to having NONE, becuase they’ve all been adopted out and named after the characters. “T’challa” is the most popular, but there are a fair number of “Okoye”s and “Shuri”s as well.
…and one very confused Elderly Humane Society Volunteer wondering why someone would name such a sweet cat “Killmonger”.
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