Your pupils contract in response to visible light, but not all of the sun’s light is visible. During an eclipse, your pupils widen because it’s dark, but there’s an outer layer around the sun that mostly only puts out light that’s not visible to us, but that can still damage your retinas. Thus, looking at an eclipse makes your pupils open up like it’s dark, which lets more of the invisible damage beams in.
The sun doesn’t get a critical multiplier on its damage when HP is low. Equipping the moon gives the sun a bonus to backstab.
This would have been my favorite movie of all time, if he’d kept his clothing/hair style and still won the girl in the end. Instead they threw in some bs scene where he matched her level of preppiness, and won her over that way.
I’m so confused by people who are constantly with 5+ friends every day in their posts and snap stories. Just basic stuff, like “gettin a taco for lunch” but it’s a party. How?? I have plenty of friends but I swear it takes 4 days of back and forth to coordinate getting 3 people in the same place at the same time.
I mean, that’s about how many friends I have, and it literally takes two weeks of planning and discussion to make one night out work.
is there a word for “i was instantly good at a lot of things as a quote-unquote gifted child, and, as a result, i was able to skate by without ever being taught how to actually learn a new skill, and now that i’m an adult trying to learn new things that i can’t be good at instantaneously, i don’t have the patience or knowledge to improve on them, because skills that don’t come naturally to me just make me angry because i lived off instant gratification my whole childhood due to not ever being challenged intellectually or taught basic learning skills?” asking for a friend
Yes–it’s called the Curse of the Gifted Child, and it’s overwhelmingly common in adults who were the “gifted and talented” kids, and it leads to disproportionate levels of anxiety is smart adults. It’s why all educators and family therapists who are current in the research try so hard to spread the word that parents and teachers should praise children for trying, for working hard, for persevering, for thinking for themselves, and NOT praise them for their inborn intelligence or talent.
Adults fuck kids up so hard by praising something that the kids a) have no control over, and b) won’t itself improve over time (i.e. the level of giftedness doesn’t go up as we age, and eventually we find ourselves coming up to its limits). And our (I’m assuming you’re American) education system is so broken that we can’t do right by our gifted students in entirely different ways than how we can’t do right by our struggling students, or our students with other needs. It’s a fucking miracle that students on either side of “average” learn anything useful at all, and if they do it is 100% guaranteed that it’s due to a spectacular teacher finding ways to get their students involved intellectually and creatively in spite of, not thanks to, the system.
If you have kids or work with kids, take a moment and think about whether you compliment them on their innate gifts–“You’re so smart/talented!” or on what they actually do–“That was good/hard work you did!” This applies to all kids who do anything that comes easily for them: playing the violin, learning a second language, throwing/hitting/fielding a ball, etc. Replace “Wow, you’re so talented!” with “Your practicing has really paid off! You should be proud of how hard you worked!”
Praise ALL kids for not giving up if something is hard, even if they don’t get an A (or a B or even a C for that matter). “I know this isn’t the grade you wanted, but I saw that you worked at it, and that’s what’s going to make the next assignment a little easier.”
For gifted and talented kids, praise them for stretching themselves. Help them find challenging things to do. START EARLY, because, as the original poster says (and so many more of us feel), if we can skate through our first 18 years of life without being intellectually challenged, the rest of our LIFE is going to be very, very anxiety-inducing, difficult, and intellectually and emotionally overwhelming.
In the grown-up world, self-respect gets you further than self-esteem. “I can probably do a good job at this if I work at it” is the result of focusing solely on a kid’s self-respect. “Everything is so easy for me because I’m gifted/talented wait this is hard and so is this and I can’t do anything and I’m afraid to try because what if I fail I’ve never failed and my entire understanding of my own worth as a human being is that I don’t fail” is what comes from focusing solely on a kid’s self-esteem. Self-respect, learned over time, will bring self-esteem with it naturally. Self-esteem, learned over time, is separate from self-respect and, without the balance, just brings pain and misery and mental breakdowns when the adult hits the hard limit of the gift or the talent.
Ask me how I know. Then ask me why I’ve become a full-time tutor.
listen to tzikeh. tzikeh is good, tzikeh is wise.
Also basically every person I’ve ever met who has had this happen has also been neurodivergent, in which case they fall into a category called “twice exceptional”, which has it’s own challenges to deal with.
During seasons 4-5 we could have had all the Cas / Dean scenes minus the UST. We could have had heated arguments that turned into a mutual understanding and Cas learning that he had always been different, always loved Humanity and through both Sam and Dean fallen and decided to rebel to help them.
They could have kept it as this:
But they didn’t. They made it all about Dean and added scenes like this:
Side note: they could also have TOTALLY portrayed Dean as a dude-bro straight as a rod hetero guy.
In fact there’s so much talk about Dean being bisexual it’s just… everywhere, not just on tumblr but in so many reviews and articles about the show e.g. just the latest one I’m aware of:
Then throughout the later seasons, they could have backtracked. They could have said hey, that was all fun, but nah, let’s keep Cas and Dean as a more brotherly familial love, to tie in with the “family don’t end in blood” theme.
I would have TOTALLY gone with that, happy Dean and Cas and Sam, all together as brothers, could have been AWESOME.
But they didn’t.
They consistently wrote them through ROMANTIC storytelling.
I’m just going from the season 7 resurrection because prior to this it was most likely not ever going to be endgame if it’s true they were going to kill Cas off.
Season 7:
– They could have not cast someone who looks like Dean’s female twin as Cas’ wife when he is amnesiac.
– They could have not had Meg call Dean his boyfriend first and make Meg/Cas romantic while Dean looks on with both Daphne and Meg with hurt in his eyes.
– They could have not introduced a queer character and make her immediately bond with Dean right at this point and then continue this theme over the years.
Season 8:
– Purgatory could have been a bro-ment, except they gave that role to Benny and placed Cas firmly in the romantic role, especially post purgatory with Dean’s visions being paralleled to Sam’s of Jess and his boner moment in 8×07, literally, wtf, that is not brotherly affection.
– They could have not had multiple episodes after Cas’ putting himself in harms way to save Dean in purgatory that revolved around a Supernatural being doing this for the human they loved.
– Then a whole story around brainwashing which one gets the other out of through telling them I love you I need you, followed by a whole storyline of Dean behaving like a JILTED LOVER and Cas trying to fix it, meanwhile Sam looks like the awkward person caught in the middle between a couple fighting, NOT his own two brothers!
Season 9:
– They could have had a story where Dean chose Sam over his best friend and newly found blood-brother, who he did a blood pact with and loved dearly in Bad Boys, but no, it was a ROMANTIC parallel.
– They could have had Cas not have sex with April or it be Sam who killed her and clutched his face in agony, so Gadreel felt it and healed him while Dean was knocked out. They could have then had Dean NOT sensually wrapping his mouth around ANYTHING OTHER THAN A PENIS SHAPED BURRITO whilst making sexual innuendos to Cas. But they did.
– They could have had the bar scene in 9×09 be all about the 3 brothers having a great time together, playing darts, having fun and chilling, rather than having a flirting winking thing going on between Dean and Cas and Sam just looking on open mouthed like WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY AM I HERE.
– They could have had a story that wasn’t focused all around sex in Rock and a Hard place, but they chose it to be sexual (when that ep was supposed to come right after 9×06).
– They could have had Ephraim going after people who were in pain and suffering due to familial loss when he went after Cas, but they didn’t, they made it a ROMANTIC parallel again.
– They could have NOT had a renownedromanticsong about loneliness, a deep shade of blue, the sun not shining anymore (when there had been so much Cas = sun visuals this season prior to this) and being “without love” with an “I NEED YOU” playing over softly interspersed images of Cas and Dean’s sad faces, when they had to separate due to duty (seriously, the one shot of Sam is just of him looking at Dean and worrying about how he is feeling during the intro before the lyrics play. Pfft).
– They could have had Dean help Cas get ready for his date by doing a Charlie-esque totally platonic scene where he took him shopping for a sweater and jeans, rather than making it look like he was undressing him with his eyes, forgetting to leave cos he’s just staring at him and looking longingly at him while calling him Tony Manero, a heavily subtextually bisexual character.
– They could have NOT paralleled Dean and Cas’ huge emotional traumatic break up in 6×20 with canon star-crossed lovers in 9×20. But they did.
– They could have had Metatron talk about how much Cas cared about puny humans and how he’s a sap for the mud monkeys, rather than making it ALL ABOUT SAVING DEAN WINCHESTER and using words like HE’S IN LOVE (giant ass pause)…. with Humanity.
– They could have then not had Amara telling Dean that he literally represents humanity and Chuck backing this up. Pff.
Season 10:
– They could have used Hannah as an actual romantic love interest for Cas rather than paralleling her unrequited love with Cas’ perceived unrequited love of Dean and using her to EXPOSE this. Or they could have just not made Cas’ story sexual/about romance AT ALL.
-They could have had SAM be the person Dean gets soft around instead of Cas or if they wanted to make Cas the brotherly figure, they could have done so in a way that didn’t scream ROMANCE like putting them in a date-like set up, making Crowley call Cas Dean’s BOYFRIEND, exposing how he’s doing it all for Dean and dying for him whilst paralleling this to Hannah’s romantic/sexual interest in Cas.
– They could have NOT repeatedly paralleled Cas with Cains’ WIFE in the Dean/Cain parallel, the love of his life, who softened him and made him want to be a better man.
-They could have had Dean get just as squicked about Destiel as W*ncest in the 10×05 fan fiction episode but they DIDNT. They made Dean squicky about W*ncest and testing the water with Sam by mentioning Destiel, then getting embarrassed by it instead of grossed out.
Season 11:
– They could at any time have made Cas/Sam stronger by the way by this point. But they didn’t. They purposefully made Sam/Cas less strong than Dean/Cas for *reasons* and those aren’t because Cas and Sam don’t care about each other and love each other as brothers/best friends because they repeatedly state that they DO. So go figure.
– They could have had the Angels torturing Cas as not making it sexual whilst talking about his loyalty and love for the Winchesters. But they did.
– They could have had Dean worry for and fight for Cas while he is possessed by Lucifer in a totally brotherly fashion as he would with Sam, but they made it ROMANTIC.
– They could have had the banshee in 11×11 go after people (again in parallel to 9×06) who were in pain due to familial loss rather than ROMANTIC loss when it went after Dean. They could have had the heartbroken manager look and say things that DIDN’T remind us of Cas before this happened, BUT THEY DID. They could have left it there but instead they gave us Mildred telling Dean that he’s PINING for someone. Just before he tells us in 11×13 that he is NOT pining for AMARA. So WHO is he PINING for?! Who has gone missing AGAIN? Who is he repeatedly over this and the next season worrying about?
-The monster in 11×13 didn’t have to be a DARKEST DESIRES monster (and not a love monster) and the story focus on unrequited love and therefore expose that although Dean’s feelings are of dark desire here, he states they are NOT love and that he ISNT pining for Amara…. SEE ABOVE.
-Amara could have gotten to Dean through a MULTITUDE of different options, through their own apparently strong bond. But they DIDNT. They did it through CAS and specifically THROUGH HIS HEART. I MEAN JEEZ.
– They could have NOT introduced at this point two characters who are gruff awesome hunter men who TOTALLY personality wise, story-wise and visually through their shoulder patting interactions are GIANT METAPHORS for Dean and Cas, while referring to the earlier ‘settling down with a hunter’ discussion in 11×04 through DEAN curiously wondering “what’s it like, settling down with a hunter?” after having mixed up brother / romantic vibes off them.
-They could have had the ‘you’re our brother’ moment in the car in 11×23 feel wonderful and fulfilling but instead (because of all this previously and the way it was framed) it felt OFF and WRONG. Because this isn’t the full truth is it Dean.
– They could have not had the whole season be a giant metaphor for this through Amara mixing up a brotherly and romantic “bond” (their words not mine) through Chuck and Dean.
THIS WHOLE SEASON COULD HAVE NOT BEEN A GIANT EXPOSITION FOR DEAN’S ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR CAS AND HIS OWN INNER MONOLOGUE OF SELF WORTH AND ACCEPTANCE, LEADING TO HIS ARC AND CLIMAX OF THIS IN SEASON 12 AND SPECIFICALLY 12×22.
Season 12
– They could have introduced Cas to Mary as their brother from the OFF but at no point did either of the boys tell her that Cas is like a brother to them. She just… assumed he fit in as “one of her boys” and in the family by proxy and is the one who consoles CAS while he is not able to function while Dean is missing (but was able to function totally perfectly to find Sam with Dean) and she always looks to DEAN when talking about Cas. I WONDER WHY.
– They could have NOT had Crowley call Cas a “love slave” or had Dean glance over at Cas when he picked up the satiny pink panties. But they did.
– They could have NOT had an ambiguous double-over voice of Sam telling Mary “I love you” and Dean talking to Cas on the phone. That was TOTALLY UNNECESSARY and just made everyone pause and rewind to figure out what was said.
– They could have had a backstory filling in the blanks around nephilim that didn’t also have a story about an Angel falling in love with a Human and him projecting this onto Cas and Dean as his human weakness whilst also explaining that Angels are not supposed to have romantic or sexual feelings for humans at all and that it means they are bad, wrong and should be killed, that it is a sacred oath not to do so, meanwhile showing Cas as extremely duty bound and still loyal even though he has fallen.
– They could have had Cas CLEARLY tell the boys he loves them as family and they are dear dear brothers to him. Instead we got a season of double clarifications leading up to this where it was CONSISTENT that the first was to one person and the second was to everyone, on top of every other time Cas has done this the first is ALWAYS to Dean, so the ambiguously seeming “I love you, I love all of you” was blatantly a romantic / familial divide between Dean and Sam. Before you even look at the fact that he can’t hold eye contact for the first but looks at Sam for the second and the reactions of Dean and Sam show that they know exactly what this means.
– They could have had Dean give Cas ANYTHING OTHER THAN A ROMANTIC TROPE 101 lesson 1 first 5 minutes into the class MIXTAPE as a gift of ‘familial bonding’. But no, they used a romantic one.
– They could have not used the band chosen on the tape a band that is consistently made romantic through the Mary/John link and even before this a way for guys to get into Jo’s pants and a way for the siren to first try to seduce Dean.
– Throughout the whole show they could have given Dean any romantic love interest where it wasn’t directly linked since season 7 with him losing Cas, feeling like he just wants comfort and SETTLING for someone else. Then in 12×18 they could have NOT made this totally clear by at this point showing it to us through him firstly worrying about Cas AGAIN, in a 2 season long repeated hammering home of Dean worrying about Cas more and more and Sam trying to console him, then settling for the omelette right afterwards and being UNSATISFIED by it.
– They could have NOT paralleled Sam pulling Dean away to the rift with Dean pulling Sam back from Jess.
– They could have NOT paralleled Dean falling to his knees as a standard romantic trope to Cain doing it for Colette.
– They could have set the whole thing up for YEARS so that Sam and Dean have a much more similar bond with Cas, a three-way brotherly bond that could totally fit with the “family don’t end in blood” theme, just as Bobby was their surrogate father and Jody their surrogate mother, Cas could have been both their additional, chosen brother, given that Dean and Sam were so forced into their codependency, their choosing to be together and add another brother could so nicely cement their own bond too by adding Cas in his way.
But instead they chose to make their relationships palpably and obviously different, even though Sam loves Cas as a brother, for *reasons*.
In Conclusion:
EVERY TIME Dean/Cas has been narratively paralleled with 2 people on the show it’s been a ROMANTIC couple (eg. Violet/David, Maggie/Donald, Jesse/Cesar, Bobby/Karen, Mary/John, Betsy/Cacao, Chronos/Lydia, Cain/Colette…) not BROTHERS (as Dean/Sam have e.g. Lucifer/Michael, the kids from 1×18).
When Cas and Dean have been targeted by monsters it’s often because of a ROMANTIC reason – one which on the surface might look like it’s for example Nora or Amara but is textually shown NOT to be, meanwhile setting their own interactions in the same episode between each other as heavily subtextually romantic.
They could have made Dean/Cas a brotherly relationship and that could have been AWESOME and totally relevant to the themes of the show. But they CHOSE to make it romantic.
I SHIP DEAN/CAS AS A ROMANTIC PAIRING BECAUSE THE SHOW MADE ME DO IT.
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