fornaxed:

Good lord I’m not saying “you personally have to be violently harmed by cishets to be queer” I’m saying that the term is exclusively reserved for the communities who’ve historically experienced oppression centered around that slur and experienced the violence that it embodies (ie LGBT people)

You’re spouting some nonsense interpretation where you could say “some lesbians are queer but not all” when what I’m literally saying is “lesbians can call themselves queer because the lesbian community has been a target of this slur and experienced horrific violence as part of it”. Ace/aro people who lack same-gender attraction have no place trying to reclaim it because it was never aimed at their community.

Except that historically, people have absolutely been targeted as queer for asexual behavior.

Everybody feel free to grab a beverage and get comfortable, because I spent a lot of time on Google today. (Asexuals, listen up, because we actually have some situations where you are represented in history here.)

Historically, people got labelled queer, and/or queer-bashed, for two major things.

The first was deviating from strict gender norms.

The second was not having hetero sex.

There are tons of examples of white people literature from the 1800s and early 1900s that use terms like “confirmed bachelor” and “spinster aunt” to imply that somebody was queer.

(I was going to say something like European/American/Canadian literature, but let’s call a spade a spade.)

Sure, nowadays we look back at that and go, “everybody knew those people were gay, it was just code for gay, nobody thought anybody was asexual, that wasn’t a thing back then.” 

Of course, that still means that people who we would now call asexual would have been getting queer-bashed because people thought they were gay. So all those asexual people, already, have earned their queer stripes under the rubric above – that they are part of a community that got violently oppressed for being perceived as queer. 

It’s also worth pointing out that as far back as the 1890s, the LGBT movement – which did already exist, and was particularly active in Germany and New York – was already beginning to categorize and write about asexuality as part of its umbrella.

But is that all that was happening? Were straight people actually cool with people who they thought just weren’t having any sex at all?

Let’s see! (This is code for “hell no.”)

My favorite example that I came across was the Spinster Movement.

The Spinster Movement was really long-lived, from around the 1880s through the 1930s. It was a group of women who either felt no sexual attraction, or felt some sexual attraction but didn’t want to have sex. (I will be the first to say that I’m sure that there were also members who nowadays would identify as lesbian, bi, and trans. But it wasn’t the focus.)

The movement particularly focused on opposing sex work, sex trafficking, and child sexual abuse. It was deeply tied up in the suffrage movement, which fought for the vote specifically so that women could oppose these things in the political arena. (There’s a lot more about this in a book called The Spinster and Her Enemies, by Sheila Jeffreys.)

It spanned a wide range of countries. Norwegian researcher Tone Hellund talks about how first the group was considered queer because they were breaking gender norms. And then:

“[in Norway], in
the 1920s and 1930s, female sexuality was suddenly discovered and all
women were supposed to have and enjoy their sexuality. At this point,
frigidity and asexuality also became a topic,
a very problematic topic.

“You could say that the spinsters became queer because they didn’t have
sex or didn’t take part in sexual activities
, and also because they
started to be perceived as potentially homosexual.

“Thus, the romantic
spinster friendships of the earlier phase that were not seen as
problematic in a sexual way became highly problematic in the 1920s and
1930s. Suddenly, all female relationships were seen as suspicious, they
were seen in a new sexual light.“

Notice the “and also” – they were queer for not having sex, AND they were queer for starting to be perceived as possibly lesbians. 

In fact, “spinsters” were routinely slammed this way. In Britain, for example, the teachers’ union was attacked over and over with the double spectre of asexuality and lesbianism.

One example from Women’s History:  “…The fear of spinsters and lesbians affected women teachers in Britain between the wars. A 1935 report in a newspaper of an educational conference expressed the threat in extreme terms: ‘The women who have the responsibility of teaching these girls are many of them themselves embittered, sexless or homosexual hoydens who try to mould the girls into their own pattern.’” It was very explicit.

And the whole thing is a common accusation that queer people still face today. That what we are is bad because it is going to destroy children and society. 

People at the time felt very strongly about how unnatural it was for people not to have sex. Women, in particular, were often divided into “natural” and “unnatural” – i.e. queer – spinsters.  Natural ones were widows; unnatural ones were those we have seen here.

In her book “Family Ties in Victorian England,” Claudia Nelson quotes writer Eliza Linton’s description of “unnatural and alien” spinsters: “Painted and wrinkled, padded and bedizened, with her coarse thoughts, bold words, and leering eyes, [the wrong kind of spinster] has in herself all the disgust which lies around a Bacchante and a Hecate in one…. Such an old maid as this stands as a warning to men and women alike of what and whom to avoid.”

We can see some of the hatred of the Spinsters in the way suffragists were treated when arrested for picketing the White House. They were tortured, beaten, hung by their hands all night, fed rotten food, and subjected to attempted psychiatric abuse.

Earlier, during the Victorian era, there was a popular but unsuccessful movement, for decades, pushing to evict spinsters over 30 from Britain, and send them to Canada, Australia, or the United States instead. They were perceived, at best, as “surplus females”, in part because there were many more women than men in the population there at that time.

There was some overlap between the different kinds of queer. Straight people, as a group, had even less understanding and interest then than they do now of what the different flavors of queer might be.

Shannon Jackson’s essay, “Toward a Queer Social Welfare Studies,” gives a good example of how describes how critics of Jane Addams’ Hull-House “called the settlement ‘unnatural,’ worrying that its women were ‘spinsters’ or that its men were ‘mollycoddles’.” In that case, I would guess that they meant “women who have sex with women”.

It’s a good example of how much they conflated the different kinds of queer – that some straight people could use the term to slam people for being asexual, and others could use it to slam people for the opposite. And it’s also a good example of how little they cared which of us they were attacking. The important thing, to them, was that we weren’t having solely hetero sex and living our lives centered around being hetero. Everything else was just details.

(Also FWIW, I want to note that I meant no disrespect to any of the previous commenters or the OP in cutting the previous posts from queerdemons lesbiandoe @punkrcgers and sushi-moss. Tumblr wouldn’t let me post my long-ass reply without trimming; it mysteriously “lost” the whole thing like it always does when I reply at length to a long thread, and I had to rewrite it.)

Also, this is a lot about women, but an unmarried man over a certain age was also considered “a threat to society” (and as mentioned above the term “confirmed bachelor” is still code for gay)

Right? I didn’t know ANYTHING about the Spinster Movement before I read about it yesterday, I didn’t even know that it existed. So I suspect that there are a shit-ton more examples like this. It could fill a really interesting book.

livebloggingmydescentintomadness:

so i’ve been thinking a bit and i’m curious to y’all’s opinions.

so there’s aesthetic attraction, where you think someone is beautiful but sort of in the calm and detached way you think a sculpture is beautiful. and there’s sexual attraction, where you feel the desire to have sex with someone.

but is there something in between, maybe “physical attraction”? because i feel like this may have been what kept me from realizing i’m demisexual for so long, because i will look at somebody and say ‘boy howdy, you are sexy’, but even if i had the opportunity i do not actually want to sleep with them? there are a ton of people that make me go ‘damn, you’re hot’, but if sexual attraction is defined as ‘i want to have sex with you’ then that number quickly plummets.

anyone else feel this way? physical attraction??

maljoylove13:

scribeling:

Do you ever go to your fridge because you’re hungry, but once you open it you just stare inside and want none of it? You open your pantry but still nothing appeals to you. Maybe someone even comes and suggests something, and even though you don’t know what you want, you still know that everything they said isn’t right. So you just stand around confused and hungry for no reason.

That’s what it’s like to be an asexual with a sex drive.

Thank you this was helpful

Hi! I recently had a difficult confrontation with someone in the LGBT community who says that A-people shouldn’t participate in the LGBT movement because the movement “is meant to celebrate non-heterosexual sex” and that A-people are “weakening” it. I say that my saying “not applicable” to sexual desire is just as revolutionary as non-heterosexual activity. Is there a good resolution to this divide that’s mutually supportive for all us non-het-sex people?

fuckyeahasexual:

Ever notice how LGBT people were “othered” and now at times that is mirrored back at us. It’s similar to how kids are bullied and become nerds only to bully people who aren’t nerdy enough. Anyways— 

LGBT people who are truly inclusive and open minded don’t have issues with asexuals. They welcome asexuals.  Aces and other a-spec people can also help the movement, but I’m getting off track again. 

So, yes I fully think that a good resolution can and will happen and the answer is simply more awareness. 

I don’t wonder if it’s because some aces have heteroromantic relationships, which, from the outside, would appear to be straights invading LGBT spaces. Doesn’t excuse the attitude, but it might explain it.

There’s also probably an element of thinking that aces aren’t nearly as discriminated against as the rest of the LGBT community.

Which, to be fair, I’m ace, and no one gives a single fuck, as far as I know, not even the co-workers of mine who know I have zero interest in dating. They may think it’s a little weird, but they’re very live and let live.

infiniteragequit:

joannablackhart:

yamino:

tristifere:

himteckerjam:

intersectionalfeminism:

Acephobia in the LGBT+ Community from the documentary (A)sexuality. 

It is just…so fucking weird how threatened people feel when it comes to Asexuality.  I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

I’m so happy this post is being reblogged by LBGT+ people who aren’t asexual. I keep on reading posts by non-ace LGBT+ people of support to the ace community, and of being stunned by this reaction by a movement which should know better than to judge. AND THAT MAKES THIS ACE SO FREAKING HAPPY. The woman in the first photo expresses my sentiment. I know I belong in the queer/LGBTQIA movement. I want to belong. But I just don’t know if I’m welcome. I’m so happy that there are so many people on Tumblr who do not fall into the category of outright refusal of asexuality.

I know not a lot of people understand asexuality. And I know there’s confusion about it, about our experiences, and about how we fit in the movement. But let’s talk about this. Let’s have this conversation.

I mostly don’t delve into the ace tags, but I hear there’s a lot of ace-hate that and I really don’t get it.  I don’t understand how asexuality is threatening.

You know what I (as a queer ace-spectrum person) find most threatening?  Getting unwanted sexual unwanted advances from both queer and straight people. I’ve gotten them from people of all spectrums and it always makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and often unsafe.  It just boggles my mind how people are upset by the concept of asexuality.  That’s like getting really mad at someone who isn’t hungry.  What’s the point?  Just shut up eat your own sandwich. (And stop chewing on me.)

Wow, the fuck the people in those images.

Nobody has the right to disrespect anybody else’s sense of self. It may not be for, you but that does not give you the right to be an asshole.

We really need to push more for LGBTQIA+ to be a standard, instead of just LGBT, especially considering that even the B and T are already invisible in much of the community.

Not supporting some of us = not supporting all of us.

for people who want others to think of them as more than sexual beings its kind of bullshit to hate on aces