Castiel
knows this. He’s familiar with it, has felt it before. Dean’s warmth, Dean’s
scent, Dean’s embrace.
Although none
of their previous hugs were quite like this, that much Castiel has to admit.
This is the first time that they’re both
holding on to the other like there’s no tomorrow. And come to think of it, maybe
there isn’t, but as Dean’s fingers are all but forming bruises on Castiel’s lower
back from holding on too tight, Castiel doesn’t care. Doesn’t care what happens
next, only cares about the here and now.
Because
he’s thought about this before. About home. About what home means to him.
Whether home is where he used to belong -up there in Heaven-, or down here on earth in an old
bunker that used to be the home of the men of letters.
But this
simple gesture of affection helps him to find the answer at last. Home isn’t a
realm, or a building. Home is here, where Castiel’s heart belongs. Here where
Dean holds him close, and takes all the time in the world to do so, just this
once.
Even though
he isn’t an expert, Castiel is aware that the average hug doesn’t last this
long. Knows that it’s a big deal when Dean runs his fingers through Castiel’s
hair. Knows that it’s special when Dean isn’t the first one to pull away, even
though they’ve been standing here like this for nearly five minutes.
“Dean?”
Castiel whispers after a while, his chin still resting on Dean’s shoulder,
Dean’s breath hot against his ear. “Are you planning to let go anytime
soon?”
Dean’s arms
tighten around Castiel in response. More minutes pass, and then Dean finally
answers the question for real, murmuring a single word against Castiel’s neck,
still not letting go.
Probably my favorite line from tonight’s episode. I was actually on the verge of crying when Dean immediately jumped to correct Sam on this. I think it tells us something fundamentally different about the way both brothers perceive who and what Cas is and honestly, I am drowning in emotions because of it. Let me explain.
So, Sam reffered to Cas’ vessel as an “it” and… he’s not necessarily wrong. Cas is, after all, an angel inhabiting a human vessel, and as we all know, Jimmy Novak’s soul has been absent from it for quite some time, which turns his body into some kind of empty shell ready for him to use. A tool. Sam calling the vessel an “it”, clearly shows he hasn’t forgotten this, and tells us a lot about how he views Cas. Sure as a friend, as someone he cares deeply about, as someone to trust… but also as the supernatural being he actually is. As grace, energy and power inside a body that serves a function. “It’s a strong vessel Dean, it’s held Cas for years”. The real Cas is not the one he sees, but the one inside. For him, Jimmy’s body is not Cas.
Now let’s get to Dean and how defensive he is at Sam talking about Cas like this. In his mind, he wasn’t talking about a vessel, a tool, much less about something disposable or something to use and risk. He was talking only about Cas, because Cas’ vessel is as much Cas as everything else. Just as his grace, conscience and powers, to Dean, Jimmy’s body is important to the point in which separating “it” from the “real Cas” is unconceivable: it’s a He and it is Cas. Sure, Dean too has shown he doesn’t forget Cas is a supernatural being, but in tonight’s episode, he shows he also believes that Cas, the Cas he’s known for years now, is as human as he gets. Someone he can touch, see, trust and care about. Someone he loves.
Why do I think this is important?
Because I believe the writers wanted to make a point of it for a reason. To show how this affects the relationship both Winchesters have with Cas, and possibly, how it might affect it in the future. Basically, it makes the possibility of a romantic, not only platonic relationship between Cas and Dean more plausible. I would be very surprised if this is not what they’ve been hinting at at this point. Thing is, some of the main issues some people have had with this are “Jimmy is probably still there” which can’t be used anymore because of 10×20, and “but people want Dean to be with Cas when Jimmy’s body is not even Cas, it’s just a vessel” or “he’s an angel so why would Dean even consider being involved with him” plus “Cas in any other vessel would be the same, so him loving Cas doesn’t prove he loves a guy” but… guess what! Dean doesn’t see it like this!
The eyes he looks into, the hand he takes, the shoulder he grabs, the smile he sees, the voice he hears, even the scruff, and definitely even the clothes he wears… everything, every single detail is important to Dean! ‘Cause that’s Cas and it’s his Cas and he’s not gonna give up on him that easily.
YES. Now it’s been confirmed that 1) Jimmy’s gone – so no consent issues, b) Dean sees Cas as a person with a body rather than a force inhabiting a body.
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