Anonymous asked: Do you think Sam knows how Dean feels about Cas?
You’re Sam Winchester and one day your brother comes back from hell with a handprint on his arm and an angel at his side. They fight and they scream and Dean complains about him but you know that he trusts him. Likes him too, at least a little. Sometimes you wonder if they forget you’re in the room. Sometimes you wonder what would happen if you weren’t.
You’re Sam Winchester, only you’re not, not completely. You’re back from hell, but something is missing. The missing piece is not Castiel, but he’s gone too, at least he is until the very first second Dean calls. You would be upset but you’re too busy wondering when exactly this happened, this “profound bond”. It’s also hard to be upset without a soul.
You’re Sam Winchester, and you’re whole again, sort of. Your brothers best friend is standing in front of you in a circle of holy fire and you ache for him. Dean went to bat for Castiel, and even now he tries to bring him around. You know a little something about betrayal and it’s not hard to imagine what he’s feeling. You hear them arguing in Bobby’s house later that night. Dean calls Castiel “brother” but you think you both know that’s not quite true.
You’re Sam Winchester and your brother doesn’t talk to you about nightmares but sometimes you hear him call out for an angel in the middle of the night. Even that doesn’t hurt as much as the time you opened the trunk of the Impala for a knife and found a freshly laundered trenchcoat.
You’re Sam Winchester and your brother is back from Purgatory. You never thought you’d see him again, but you’re Sam Winchester and the subversion of death no longer surprises you. You’re surprised the angel isn’t with him. Somehow, without even realizing it, you’ve begun to expect him to come back for Dean. It’s happened every time before. But Dean swears he’s gone for good and your heart breaks for him, what he must be feeling.
You’re Sam Winchester and your brother used to tuck you into bed and promise to scare away all the monsters. Today you wake up in the middle of the night, but instead of fighting monsters Dean is standing at the window. His voice cracks like the lightning outside and he tells you he’s seeing Cas. You tell him its impossible but even as the words leave your mouth you remember a beautiful blonde girl whose smile used to light you up from the inside out. You remember seeing her after she burned. Everywhere. When you warn him to walk past it, you’re speaking from experience. You don’t have a problem with your brother having feelings for an angel, but you wish he didn’t because Castiel is gone for good and now the only unshakable thing in your life looks shaken.
You’re Sam Winchester and you’re in a hotel room going over a case. Angels can manifest anywhere but Castiel comes into being directly behind Dean. You’re not surprised. You suspect the times Dean has seen him to be driven by Cas’s fading power and his attempts to contact the two of you. You tell him this. Dean hesitates, but agrees and that’s it. Right there. That little moment of hesitation. This is the moment where it is suddenly completely clear to you. It’s not just “feelings”, it’s love. Because even with a perfectly logical explanation available, Dean, who is perhaps the only person in the world who is better at repressing things than you yourself, still isn’t sure whether or not he was hallucinating with grief. Dean doesn’t believe in chick flick moments but you watch him watch Cas walk away and you wish he would have one, just this once. Because who knows how long it’s been true, but your brother is in love with an angel. An angel who seems to defy every possible law of death and logic and somehow always ends up back at Dean’s side.
Tag: destiel
Dean’s feelings
Still not over the fact that Sam said “Cas dinged you up pretty good” and apparently Dean translated that as “Cas broke your fucking heart, wanna talk about it?” Dean, honey, I’m pretty sure that Sam was thinking more about how Cas literally almost beat you to death, and wouldn’t have even brought emotions up if you hadn’t.
The thing is, Dean Repression Winchester actually thought about it for a second. That’s how much his feelings were dinged up.
And maybe Sam wasn’t talking bout the physical injuries – Cas healed Dean’s body completely. Sam may have never even known how badly Dean had been hurt. This was the first scene where I thought “Yeah, Sam knows.”
…but the text supports both readings, as usual.
So the people who don’t read that scene as either Dean coming to grips with being bi in general or being in love with Cas specifically, how DO they read it?
The main reading I’ve seen—besides the bi!Dean or Dean/Cas interpretations—is that it was Dean admitting to wanting a long term romantic partner.
After Dean says that he isn’t ready to die, the exchange with Father Delaney goes as follows:
Dean: Recent events, uh, made me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And I don’t know, I mean, you know, there’s things, there’s people, feelings that I- I- I want to experience differently than I have before. Or maybe even for the first time.Father Delaney: Go a little deeper, perhaps, than with Gina.
Dean: Yeah… I’m- I’m starting to think that maybe there’s more to it all than I thought.
So Father Delaney connects Dean’s confession of having people and feelings that he wants to experience in new ways to the probably-made-up fling he had with someone named Gina—and Dean agrees. He wants something more in a romantic sense. He wants a relationship.
This is something that has been hinted to in the narrative and through silent storytelling since the beginning of season nine, but after this scene it could only be clearer if he flat out says “I want a long-term partner.”
If there are other interpretations to this I’d love to hear about them, but I really can’t see this exchange suggesting anything other than a desire for romantic love. It’ll take a pretty convincing argument to de-romo this dialogue.
So basically everyone agrees on the wanting a relationship part, but those who don’t see Dean as bi think it’s a general longing for a women yet unmet.
That would be, frankly, really weird ten years in. New character, completely new relationship, adding a 4th person to Team Free Will. Is that the writing on the wall that non-Destiel shippers see?
If it’s actually possible to NO ROMO that confession without contorting the logic into a pretzel, I’m a cat.
And I really don’t see how, given what we’ve seen for the last three seasons, there are any possible candidates for a long-term romance that we haven’t already met, because Dean’s clearly thinking of a particular person, and not someone in the abstract.
And that is a very small pool of candidates. Sam and Charlie are out right off the bat, which reduces the pool even more. Claire and Chrissie are kids, so they’re out. Ann Marie has already NOPED out of the pool. Of the people Dean’s still at all close to, that leaves Donna, Jody… and Cas. And of those three, there’s only one that Dean’s said he ~needed~. Only one he’s ditched Sam and driven for hours to go and see. Only one he’s wished was with him when he felt alone and overwhelmed.
Only. One.
You know, the Destiel shippers wouldn’t be having such a spaz-attack if they didn’t add that
“Maybe even for the first time” bit in there.
I mean … Dean has been to hell, he’s been a vampire, a demon, a cowboy, a gangster, a military officer … hell, the guy has even been a dog. He has talked about his numerous experiences with women very openly. He makes it very apparent that he is very experienced in all manner of ways when it comes to wooing the ladies. He has built cars and rebuilt cars, he has shot guns, conquered fears of flying and creepy dolls. He has come face to face with the impossible a million times over ….
So, what exactly would still be a “first” for our baby boy Dean?
Yep. What’s worse is that the priest interpreted all this with a romantic meaning, thanks to how Dean confessed about his relationships with women first.
AND WHEN YOU PUT A ROMANTIC SPIN ON IT, EVEN MORE POSSIBILITIES GET ELIMINATED. Dean’s already been in real love with a woman (Cassie) and in a long-term, settled relationship with a woman (Lisa).
So if we viewers also run with the priest’s interpretation and think it’s about going “deeper” romantically AND mix in “FOR THE FIRST TIME,” the only remaining conclusion is Cas.
And there you have it: Dean confessing to wanting more. But not just more: he wants the apple pie life. He doesn’t want the bullshit he was putting on with the women he always comes across… he wants something real. Something he has never experienced before. The closest he’s ever come to that life is Lisa, but his closest shot to what he described is Castiel.
Because Cas loves him irrevocably and unconditionally. Cas would be able to match Dean in a way that they’d live without Dean having to constantly be on guard, letting him live and love without worry. And Cas is male.
That sounds a lot like new and never experienced before to me.
So in the same episode where the spirit of a woman recalled her love of a man who couldn’t love her back completely because he was so bound to his work that he was unwilling to settle down, we also get Dean confessing to wanting to experience certain people and things differently than he ever has, that he wants more than he’s ever allowed himself, that he wants to fall in love.
He can’t quite comprehend living one life and then giving it all up for another, but being bound by this duty, by this life, is what has always held Dean back from truly experiencing a life of his own. It’s why he was more in love with the idea of Lisa than he was with her, because that entire year he was with her, he never completely let go.
And this duty is what holds Dean back from love. Just as the artist was bound to his work, Dean is bound to being a hunter, to living by the blade and dying by it. He says he always believed that’s how he would go out, at the end of a blade or the barrel of a gun, but death is licking at his heels now and there is so very much he still has left to do. So much he has left to feel.
If it is duty, a mission, a life of dedication to one thing and one thing alone that prevents Dean from loving, from feeling love, just as it did the artist, I wonder how Dean would react were a certain someone to confess their love to him after all this time. Would he finally see that he is permitted to break the chains of his life, to return that love, to know what it means to feel something other than hopelessness and fear?
I would try and wrap this up with something articulate and profound, but I’m still trying to fully process that we got a straight up canon confession from Dean that he has people in his life he wants to experience differently. Dean Winchester is bisexual as hell and I’ll give you exactly one guess as to who that person could possibly be bye.
for my dearest jiimmynovak, who introduced me to this song
Give me one good reason
Why I should never make a change
And baby if you hold me
Then all of this will go away
So, we talk all the time about the cupid’s bow and arrows in “Sacrifice.” But apparently “I’m So Blue” by Katie Thompson was playing in the bar as Dean and Cas discuss Cas’ imminent return to Heaven? (I’m probably late to the party, here, but I just learned about this in the process of making a separate post about Supernatural’s sound design.)
“I’m So Blue” (Katie Thompson)
I’m so blue without you, thought our love was true
Then you found someone new
You loved me so but let me go
Now I’ll never know how our love would grow
Waiting, watching the stars above us
Hoping that I could win back your love
I’m so blue with without you, thought our love was true
Then you found someone new
Waiting, watching the stars above us
Hoping that I could win back your love
I’m so blue without you, thought our love was true
Then you found someone new
Thought our love was true
Then you found someone newI know it’s very quiet; I could barely hear it. But it’s much easier to hear if you know what to listen for; the song lyrics and dialogue line up roughly as follows:
What show’ve you been watching? [instrumental]
Talk to me. Are you sure about this? I mean, it’s one thing me and Sammy slamming the gates to the pit, but you… You’re, you’re boarding up Heaven. [Waiting, watching the stars above us]
And you’re locking the door behind you. [Hoping]
Yeah. I know. [That I could win back your loooo—]
You did a lot of damage up there, man. [—oooove]
You think they’re just gonna let that slide? [I’m so blue]
Do you mean do I think they’ll kill me? Yeah, they might. [Without you]
So this is it? [Thought our love was true]
E.T. goes home. [But you found someone new]At this point, Gail enters the bar, and the song carries over to the beginning of Rod and Dwight’s meet-cute. The song ends around the moment Dwight says, “Rod rides a stool here most days.” Gallery’s “It’s So Nice to Be With You” begins to play instead, and it blatantly establishes the romance between Rod and Dwight.
So they play a song about lovers separating and pining over footage of Dean and Cas’ conversation about Cas leaving for Heaven, and then they juxtapose that with a song about lovers being together playing over footage of Rod and Dwight falling in love? And we’re supposed to interpret that sound design choice as an attempt to code Dean and Cas as platonic how, exactly?
And I did it, all of it, for you.
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