Fullmetal Alchemist AU where everything’s the same except Ed makes up stupid stories as to why he lost his arm and leg and they’re different every time someone asks.
ex: “I got attacked by a shark” “I stubbed my toe and decided I didn’t want it anymore” “I went through a steampunk phase” “Sheep are vicious when they’re hungry” “Squirrels”
“y-you have an automail arm and leg… you–you must have committed the ult-”
“did you know horses are omnivorous? you’d think they just eat grass and weeds but that’s what they want you to think”
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