caffeinedeathwarrior:

1.  Constantly prove your heterosexuality to everyone around you.  Once that’s out of the way, you can do whatever you want.

2.  Once you’ve proven your heterosexuality, it’s perfectly acceptable to occasionally check out or flirt with guys.  

No homo, though.

3.  Have a male friend with whom you share an abnormally “profound bond.”

4.  Stare sensually into his eyes a lot.

5.  Gaze at him with complete adoration, even when he isn’t looking.

6.  Occasionally, look at him like you want to jump his bones.

But, like, in a completely platonic way.

7.  Waste five minutes to talk about how annoyingly cute he is in the middle of a serious conversation about the apocalypse.

8.  Personal space is optional.  Because, you know, close platonic bros don’t need that sort of thing.

9.  Find excuses to touch him whenever possible.

10.  Casually imply you’d like to have sex with him.

Congratulations!  You are now completely straight!