He specializes in being being heterosexual and kicking monster ass.
2. There are three things Dean Winchester absolutely does not do:
Shorts.
Chick flick moments.
And dudes.
3. He’s also always 100% honest with himself.
4. This is Sam. Also known as “the less handsome one.”
He specializes in having stupidly long, girly hair and being really tall.
5. Dean absolutely does not project his personal issues onto Sam.
Like wearing women’s underwear.
Or being attracted to guys.
Or flirting with Cas.
6. He’s a bit of a weirdo.
(But if you touch even one stupidly long hair on his head, I’ll skip rope with your entrails.)
7. And this…is Castiel.
He specializes in being a weird, dorky little guy and having stupidly pretty, stupidly blue eyes with stupidly long lashes, that you just want to heterosexually drown in forever.
Oh yeah, and then there’s the whole “angel” thing.
8. Cas doesn’t really get sarcasm. Or pop culture references (though he’s kinda gotten better at that last part.)
When he’s confused, he tilts his head to the side and scrunches up his eyebrows, and you kinda just want to heterosexually hold him forever and ever.
9. And most importantly, Dean Winchester is NOT attracted to Castiel.
He doesn’t have wet dreams about the sound of his voice.
He doesn’t touch him just a little more than he needs to, and think about it for days on end.
He never thinks about what it would be like to cook for him, and cuddle up on the sofa, and watch chick flicks together.
I mean, yeah, he does occassionally fantasize about what it would be like to run his fingers through his hair, but don’t ALL straight guys do that with their platonic bro-pals?
And yeah, he has occasionally gotten a heterosexual boner while looking at him, but that’s only natural. I mean, just look at the guy.
So yeah, Dean Winchester is not attracted to Cas. Because Dean Winchester is 100% straight.
10. So yeah , that’s Team Free Will: one ex-bloody junky, a high school dropout and my boyf- my huggy bear- and CAS.
I’m really sorry @yifera but we had a long chat with @saawek and this happened.
Well, I am so not sorry, let the pancake grow!
(And of course this only makes my comments worse)
How does pancake!Cas kill enemies? Does he fly to their faces and suffocates them to death? Is his true form an empire-state size pancake or another piece of breakfast? Team Free Breakfast?
OH MY GOD WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS EARLIER THIS IS AMAZING
@yifera I’d pay to see Castiel the pancake of the Lord smite his ennemies with a butter knife :’D As for the pancake!cas true form, this is clearly @saawek‘s thing, I request a true form painting darling ! An Eldritch pancake ! AND YES TEAM FREE BREAKFAST !
@sassy-pistachy (I was just telling saawek yesterday night how cool your name was btw) I FUCKING LOVE IT, DEAN’S FACE AAAAAH !!! You even DID THE FRECKLES xD
@sassy-pistachy NAILED IT, as always! I spent like an hour squeaking and laughing when she showed me bacon!Dean!
So what do you think Sam would be? We can’t really decide
I’m looking at you @saawek for that true form pancake!
@yifera@sassy-pistachy@elnawen WHAT THE FLAMING FUCK. It’s getting out of hands. BUt I couldn’t let SUCH BEAUTIFUL OPPORTUNITIES PASS. And why the fuck didn’t i get all these notifications?????? fuck you tumblr.
Whats does trueform pancake cas looks like??? HERE IT IS.
It was that at the beginning. Now i think it’s better. Bacon cape the size of the Chrysler building, dayum.
@elnawen, @saawek, I love shitpost, sorry I’m joining for all I can apprehend… I love the butter knife idea, also : melted butter halo, and mapple syrup wing of the ded… *SPLAT*
imagine the supernatural season one aesthetic if they were boppin around in a prius
john winchester looks at the coat of dirt on the prius. “dean, i wouldn’t have given you this car if you weren’t going to take care of it.” “dad, everyone knows you buy a prius for the fuel efficiency, not for the appearance.” “you’re right, son, my bad. carry on.”
in the pilot episode, the woman in white takes control of the prius on the bridge but then she realizes she’s in a prius so she softly whispers “this is bullshit. i can never go home.”
sam says “we’ve got work to do” and then steps back so he can close the hatchback
because their lives are so stressful, they choose the soothing sea glass pearl color. who wants to worry about visible clear coat scratches when you’ve got monsters to kill
a semi hits the prius during the season 1 finale but, due to its five star side crash safety rating, dean winchester never enters a coma. season 2 is fundamentally altered.
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