habitatfordeanwinchester:

Anonymous asked: Do you think Sam knows how Dean feels about Cas?

You’re Sam Winchester and one day your brother comes back from hell with a handprint on his arm and an angel at his side. They fight and they scream and Dean complains about him but you know that he trusts him. Likes him too, at least a little. Sometimes you wonder if they forget you’re in the room. Sometimes you wonder what would happen if you weren’t. 

You’re Sam Winchester, only you’re not, not completely. You’re back from hell, but something is missing. The missing piece is not Castiel, but he’s gone too, at least he is until the very first second Dean calls. You would be upset but you’re too busy wondering when exactly this happened, this “profound bond”. It’s also hard to be upset without a soul.

You’re Sam Winchester, and you’re whole again, sort of. Your brothers best friend is standing in front of you in a circle of holy fire and you ache for him. Dean went to bat for Castiel, and even now he tries to bring him around. You know a little something about betrayal and it’s not hard to imagine what he’s feeling.  You hear them arguing in Bobby’s house later that night. Dean calls Castiel “brother” but you think you both know that’s not quite true. 

You’re Sam Winchester and your brother doesn’t talk to you about nightmares but sometimes you hear him call out for an angel in the middle of the night. Even that doesn’t hurt as much as the time you opened the trunk of the Impala for a knife and found a freshly laundered trenchcoat.

You’re Sam Winchester and your brother is back from Purgatory. You never thought you’d see him again, but you’re Sam Winchester and the subversion of death no longer surprises you. You’re surprised the angel isn’t with him. Somehow, without even realizing it, you’ve begun to expect him to come back for Dean. It’s happened every time before. But Dean swears he’s gone for good and your heart breaks for him, what he must be feeling.

You’re Sam Winchester and your brother used to tuck you into bed  and promise to scare away all the monsters. Today you wake up in the middle of the night, but instead of fighting monsters Dean is standing at the window. His voice cracks like the lightning outside and he tells you he’s seeing Cas. You tell him its impossible but even as the words leave your mouth you remember a beautiful blonde girl whose smile used to light you up from the inside out. You remember seeing her after she burned. Everywhere. When you warn him to walk past it, you’re speaking from experience. You don’t have a problem with your brother having feelings for an angel, but you wish he didn’t because Castiel is gone for good and now the only unshakable thing in your life looks shaken.

You’re Sam Winchester and you’re in a hotel room going over a case. Angels can manifest anywhere but Castiel comes into being directly behind Dean. You’re not surprised. You suspect the times Dean has seen him to be driven by Cas’s fading power and his attempts to contact the two of you. You tell him this. Dean hesitates, but agrees and that’s it. Right there. That little moment of hesitation. This is the moment where it is suddenly completely clear to you. It’s not just “feelings”, it’s love. Because even with a perfectly logical explanation available, Dean, who is perhaps the only person in the world who is better at repressing things than you yourself, still isn’t sure whether or not he was hallucinating with grief. Dean doesn’t believe in chick flick moments but you watch him watch Cas walk away and you wish he would have one, just this once. Because who knows how long it’s been true, but your brother is in love with an angel. An angel who seems to defy every possible law of death and logic and somehow always ends up back at Dean’s side.