Tag: spn: red meat

dustydreamsanddirtyscars:

11×17 “Red Meat”
Dean and the Thing about Dying

There were a lot of devastating and deeply unsettling things shown in this episode relating to Dean’s emotional state of mind, but these moments here of Dean actively committing suicide by overdosing on drugs would have to be one of the most heartbreaking things ever imo. I mean we have seen Dean go to desperate measures and “flirt” with Death before like that by dying, but somehow this moment here was way more unsettling to watch for me, because on the one hand it is just one more subtle nod to Dean’s knowledge and experience when it comes to drugs, but it also just showcases how bad and alarming his depression truly is, because he is so weirdly calm and okay with dying – sadly that’s nothing new, but it paints a devastating picture. The scenes of Dean choking and seizing would have to be the most gut wrenching moments of the entire series to me tbh. Especially when you see how Dean in the veil is looking on to the scene and knows exactly what they need to do to bring him back to life. One can just wonder where the experience stems from, from knowing exactly what they need to do. Whatever the answer is, it is a sad one.

I went in the wincest tag.

Why do I do this to myself? I guess it’s a continuation of the bad case of trainwreck syndrome I’ve always had.

I’m trying to figure out why referencing Romeo and Juliet would be a good thing in this context, or why they thought that’s what the show was doing.

Tbh, it actually kinda feels like devaluing Dean’s choice, and romanticizing him making a very bone-headed move. If Dean is Romeo to Sam’s Juliet, then their relationship is actually much less important than the wincesters want it to be, because newsflash, geniuses: Romeo and Juliet were stupid teenagers who thought they were in love. It was an entirely unhealthy relationship, and instead of squeeing, people should be wanting Dean to move past this level of codependency.

But then, I’ve been a Dean!girl almost since day one, and since I want to see this character happy, I wish there was a way for him to be okay without Sam, should the worst happen.

And to bring up the Dean/Cas elephant in the room, I really do think that reaction at the end was about both of them (Sam and Cas) and possibly foreshadowing. At that moment, Sam is fine – Dean doesn’t have to worry about him. It’s Cas who is in the most danger of death. And Dean needs both of them in his life to stay on an even keel.

Plus, the show itself is showing Dean completely broken up over what’s currently going on with Cas, and possibly losing him. That’s what pushes him over the edge when he thinks Sam has died – the idea that he has no one. This time around, he didn’t even have Lisa and Ben to go to, and it’s clear that he’s taken responsibility for Cas’ choice onto himself, par for the course for Dean.

Also, this may be really incoherent and make no sense, but I’m writing at five in the morning, so…