I have a theory I’d like to test, but there seems to be no way of getting the information online, so if there’s anybody in the fandom with back-issues of the Playboy magazine, hit me up.
In 7.22, Dean mentions that he has read Kevin’s translation of the Leviathan tablet “more times than the…
Did some little research, and everything is online, but you would have to become a member of the site that archives all the issues. The simmons story was later renamed “dying in Bangkok” and bundled. It might available in libraries?
Yeah, the short story I found and just finished reading it. A guy who doesn’t realize he’s in love with his comrade in arms, who is found dead and junkless in a river, and he gets revenge on the vampires many years later when he contracts HIV.
The bisexual stuff disturbed me and excited me at the same time. I didn’t understand myself well then.
—-
I don’t think that I knew in Vietnam that I was gay. I had disguised the very real love that I felt for Tres as other things: loyalty to a buddy, admiration, even the kind of masculine love that grunts are supposed to feel for one another in combat. But it was love. I realize that now. I have known it since shortly after I returned from the war.
I never came out of the closet. Not publicly. Even while in medical school I learned how to troll the most discreet bars, meet the most discreet men, and make the most discreet arrangements for temporary liaisons. Later, as my practice and public persona grew, I learned how to keep my prowlings restricted to rare nights in cities far away from my home in L.A. And I dated women. Those who wondered why I never married had only to look at my busy practice to see that I had no time for a domestic life.
I would venture that it was this short-story that 14-year old Dean Winchester read more than once.
I would venture that as well.
It’s also a Dabb and Loflin episode, and I’m pretty sure they haven’t written a single episode without a bisexual Dean reference yet. It’s actually pretty clever. All three Winchester read the magazine, but they read it differently.
I didn’t find the Broyles Jr. article, but researching I realized that there was an article from him I had read before, Why Men Love War. He talks about the heightened erotic desire in war in this article:
Most men who have been to war, and most women who have been around it, remember that never in their lives did they have so heightened a sexuality. War is, in short. a turn-on. War cloaks men in a coat that conceals the limits and inadequacies of their separate natures. It gives them all aura, a collective power, an almost animal force. They aren’t just Billy or Johnny or Bobby, they are soldiers! But there’s a price for all that: the agonizing loneliness of war, the way a soldier is cut off from everything that defines him as an individual—he is the true rootless man.
The uniform did that, too, and all that heightened sexuality is not much solace late it night when the emptiness comes.
There were many men for whom this condition led to great decisions. I knew a Marine in Vietnam who was a great rarity, an Ivy League graduate. He also had an Ivy League wife, but lie managed to fall in love with a Vietnamese bar girl who could barely speak English. She was not particularly attractive, a peasant girl trying to support her family He spent all his time with her, he fell in love with her—awkwardly informally, but totally. At the end of his twelve months in Vietnam he went home, divorced his beautiful, intelligent, and socially correct wife and then went back to Vietnam and proposed to the bar girl, who accepted. It was a marriage across a vast divide of language, culture, race, and class that could only have been made in war. I am not sure that it lasted, but it would not surprise me if despite great difficulties, it did.
Of course. for every such story there are hundreds. thousands, of stories of passing contacts, a man and a woman holding each other tight for one moment, finding in sex some escape from the terrible reality of tile war. The intensity that war brings to sex, the “let us love now because there may be no tomorrow,” is based on death. No matter what our weapons on the battlefield, love is finally our only weapon against death. Sex is the weapon of life, the shooting sperm sent like an army of guerrillas to penetrate the egg’s defenses is the only victory that really matters. War thrusts you into the well of loneliness, death breathing in your ear. Sex is a grappling hook that pulls you out, ends your isolation, makes you one with life again.
You know. If you were wondering why exactly Dean came out of Vietnam-Purgatory looking like he wanted to eat Cas like he was a candybar.
Tag: supernatural meta
Insane Cas/Cain Meta
So this just hit me, and it’s going to sound absolutely bonkers, but hear me out.
heislikefireburningthroughtime:
can we all agree that this was the worst cas/dean moment ever. dean wanted cas to get angry. he wanted him to put up a fight and give him some answers. instead, cas ignored deans attempts and carried on in his own little world. this scene just breaks my little destiel heart
#worst moment in the history of everything ever #cas just looks like a child and dean was expecting him to get mad or do something #but he doesnt #cas just goes nad picks up the stupid game that dean swiped onto the floor #and doesnt even expect dean to apologize because when does he ever do that #and dean looks so angry in that second gif #but hes mostly angry at himself because fuck he did it again #and okay hes a little mad at cas for not getting mad back and frustrated that he wont help them #and he wants to say hes sorry but he doesnt even know where to begin #jfc no #i hate this moment so much #its the most heartbreaking thing #no one look at me right now #gfdi #get me off of this ride
…what was I just saying about this relationship being abusive, ok CAN WE JUST.
K I dunno if anyone ever asked Misha this, but I am like 99% sure that CrazyCas was being played as someone suffering *SEVERE* PTSD. Watch his reactions to things. How he flinches at loud noises. How he teleports outta the room when people around him start arguing. And, ya know, the guy’s got a lot to be traumatised about. Leviathans, etc. So here we see a Cas who has retreated into his own mind, into his own world. After he took on Sam’s madness (as I recall the Winchesters merrily fucked off and left him in a MENTAL HOSPITAL…!!!) and after everything that happened, he surely had to develop some serious coping mechanisms. He retreated into an internal world that was non-threatening. Instead of focusing on these huge bigger-picture issues that have occupied him for so long (heaven and hell, obedience versus free will, etc etc) he zooms in on the little details. He seems to find comfort in them. Bees. Flowers. Fucking board games. Shit that he could devote his attention to without being completely overwhelmed, and without returning to the guilt that is rotting him from the inside out, eating him alive.
What does Dean do? He comes along, actually TELLS Cas “Nobody cares that you’re broken,” and swipes the board game off the table. He does this to somebody suffering from a severe mental illness, from extreme, psychologically-necessary-at-this-point, detachment to reality. Yeah. Way to take care of your friend.
Dean just seems like a profoundly selfish person to me. He only sees this situation in terms of what HE needs from Cas, and being pissed off that he’s not going to get it because it’s, like, soooo inconvenient that Cas has mentally gone off the rails. At no point does he comfort him. At no point does he seem genuinely concerned, or worried, or…AARRRRGGGHHH Dean Winchester pisses me off ok.
huh, i interpreted the scene a little differently from dean’s point of view.
dean’s entire life was thrown off the rails when john changed so drastically after mary’s death: he went from a sweet, loving daddy to an abusive drunk. because of this, it’s understandable that dean would be scared of people changing.
castiel’s a sort of constant with his stiff manner, bluntness and misunderstanding of pop culture: even when he disappears, he always comes back in the end. (dean’s hurt because of cas going MIA when dean got back together with lisa could possibly be connected to the fact that the situation completely defied that last point.)
dean becomes visibly uncomfortable whenever this constantness changes and, with that, he becomes provocative in his words and actions—the whole “baby in a trench coat” gag was a good example of this, and, on a much larger scale, so was the entire broken!cas arc.
interestingly enough, this sort of provocation only appeared after cas beat dean up in the alley for wanting to say yes to michael—it was a pure show of anger and hurt on castiel’s behalf—a raw display of emotion that was the closest thing to castiel’s core that dean had seen up to that point. it was cas with all his walls down.
what i’m getting at is that dean could very well be trying to elicit the same reaction he saw in the alleyway now—we know very well that dean takes the weight of the world on his shoulders. it wouldn’t be a far stretch to say that he blames himself for castiel having ptsd and therefore is also aiming to land himself some kind of punishment for that.
something else he could very possibly be trying to do is reassure himself that the castiel he knows is still in there through trying to provoke him to breaking point. it’s very selfish, yes, but dean’s an emotional, impulsive person and often doesn’t think these things through.
in the second gif, dean looks furious. but the thing is, we know dean says what he feels—if he was angry with cas, he’d still be yelling at him. this is much more of an internal anger, from what i can tell.
dean’s body language is also really weird in this scene: in the first gif, both of dean’s arms are on the table, aggressive and challenging. it’s pretty much a, “fight me” stance. in the second gif, however, he’s half closed off, half open. a hand resting between the legs in males is often a defensive position, but at the same time, his other arm—his left arm, the one that would, if lowered, conceal his heart—his flung wide open. in other words, if cas were to suddenly attack him, he’d very easily be able to stab dean exactly where it would kill him. even the hand between his legs is hanging loosely, despite him being turned toward cas and easily at risk of being hurt if cas attacked him.
usually, i’d chalk this up to a coincidence, but something about jensen’s posture seems very deliberate in this scene, especially considering how odd his pose in the second gif is.
anyway, back to the analyzation of the scene. along with that anger dean is radiating, he’s also refusing to look directly at cas, instead fixing his gaze on the game—he’s not belligerent or defensive of his actions; rather, he feels guilty.
this whole theme of provoking cas whenever he unsettles dean by acting different than usual continues throughout the story arc—to use another example, the whole “nobody cares that you’re broken, cas!” scene. i can’t find gifs right now since i’m on mobile, but i urge you to watch dean’s expression right after he says that—he watches cas for a reaction, then seems to panic when there is none. soon after, he looks absolutely terrified. these emotions all flash by in a second, then he’s composed himself again.
so, basically, what i’m saying is that i don’t think dean’s constant provocation during this arc is due to him being annoyed that cas isn’t up and about, ready to do his bidding, but that the changes in cas are scaring him to the point that he regresses into performing very childish acts of provocation in an attempt to get a reaction. he’s done this before, once again using the “baby in a trench coat” example—but that was more of a snarky remark to elicit a small reaction, a snappy retort or a glare—the latter of which he succeeded in getting.
obviously, he’s used to these mini-reassurances working out, but now with broken!cas, he’s getting no reaction whatsoever. so, dean progressively worsens in behavior until he drops a major bombshell by telling cas that no one cares that he’s broken—the lowest blow he can think of, considering the fact that cas often chooses dean to converse and interact with, not to mention the whole profound bond thing.
so, in other words, while i don’t condone dean’s actions at all and agree with you saying how selfish he’s being—i don’t think it’s dean objecting to the inconvenience; i think that cas being so different is triggering a subconscious response in dean that leads to all these childish “temper tantrums”—especially since the trauma with john’s sudden change in persona took place when dean was a child.
just my twopence on the scene.
9.18 | Meta Fiction
THIS SCENE IS SO INTERESTING
WHAT ACTUALLY IS HAPPENING WITHIN DEAN HEREHe reminded me so much of a lost kid in that scene. The way he was crouching against the wall, exhausted and horrified. He’s talking to Sam as if he was trying to convince himself that this is what actually happened… that the ‘bad’ thing he did was almost killing Gadreel when in reality the truly horrible thing was that he didn’t kill him: not because ‘they needed him to talk’ but because Gadreel wanted to be killed.
Another wondeful wonderful scene.Actually, to me this felt like Dean – in a twisted way – asking for help and at the same time realizing that him and Gadreel might have more in common than he’d like to admit (the wish to die for example – though it remains up to discussion whether Gadreel really wanted to die or if he was just pretending) and it scares him, because he knows himself less and less. And with every look in the mirror it’s getting worse, not better. Dean seems to be completely out of touch with himself. Tired, exhausted, done, unable to grasp, who he is.
Oh yes, this actually makes it even more horrifying. Because if we think about how Dean may have recognized himself in Gadreel and how he probably even understood that Gadreel wasn’t necessarily referring to Dean but to both of them, it would mean he’s not only beating Gadreel to a bloody mess but himself as well. I’m sure people have already been talking about this but it definitely looks like Dean was confronting his own more-or-less subconscious deathwish in that moment… I feel like he’s equal parts horrified, defeated and scared by what just happened between him, Gadreel and the mark. And as he’s lying there while Sam approaches, he’s completely lost with no sense of direction left (at least until he gets back up and rebuilds his protective layers that keep out any unwelcome sense of self-awareness).
The Prophetic Lyrics of the “Road So Far”
Like everyone else, I’m
having fungiving myself ulcers speculating what the Season 9 finale has in store for us. So, I was curious if the song played during the “Road So Far” recap at the beginning of each season at all directly foreshadowed events that occurred in the cliffhangers of the finales, and what that may mean for our three boys at the end of Season 9.I compiled the songs, lyrics, and a short summary of the climactic events/cliffhangers of each finale, and was actually kind of surprised that there seemed to be correlations (do they actually think about these things?). Of course, the gift of hindsight reveals all, but it’s neat (scary?) to see a potential connection.
(Note: I highlighted only what I considered to be the relevant lyrics from each song – it was just too long otherwise! – but linked to the full song. Please check them out to see if there’s anything else!)
It’s a little difficult to see, but look closely, right when Cas says I’m okay, he’s shaking his head, nullifying the very words that leave his mouth. Cas isn’t okay, because he wants to be with Dean, but Dean had made it very clear that he didn’t want Cas around. And Cas will always put what Dean wants in front of his own needs. So sure, he’ll go on pretending, but no⎯he’s not okay. Still, the worst part is that Dean doesn’t see that. He’s not looking for the wounded expression on Cas’s face. As Dean is turned away from Cas he gives an almost imperceptible nod, and we know what he’s thinking: that Cas is okay without him. The first “good“ he utters is to himself, it’s the broken mantra of Dean Winchester. Well, good, Cas is okay without him, and how could he ever be stupid enough to believe that Cas could need him as much as he needs Cas? Good, he says again, stronger now as he lets the walls build up around him. He’ll strap on his boots, slap a strong look on his face, and drown his emotions. He’s never needed anyone before, it’s always been Dean Winchester against the world. How could he let himself believe that one angel would make that any different?
Dean isn’t just Cain, he’s also….
I feel a little weird telling bible stories now that I’m an atheist, but I guess if nothing else, all those years of being a Sunday School teacher have given me an ability to catch references on Supernatural that I may as well share with the rest of the class. 😛
Here’s the deal: The bees and honey and the jawbone of an ass and running around killing multitudes of people don’t refer to Cain. Those things all refer to Samson. (Also, Abner’s little daughter last week was named Delilah, which is what alerted me to this in the first place.) The story of Samson can be found in the book of Judges, starting with chapter 13:
Dean, The Mark, Love, and Redemption (in which I try to meta on the mark of Cain and it slowly devolves into deancas feels)
And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother’s blood from thy hand; When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth. And Cain said…
Yo, just a quick query. I am not American, so I don’t know if menthols are something else, but in NZ they’re cigarettes. Dean asks for a pack in 9×06, and there have been other allusions to him smoking, like in 2×14 the gas station guy says Sam stole a pack of menthols and was smoking like a chimney, which Dean later says sounds more like him. Is there any evidence I’ve missed that Dean’s a habitual smoker?
Thanks for the question!
In the US—and most of the world, from what we can tell—menthols are a type of cigarette.
As for the second part of your question, there is no solid canon evidence that Dean is a habitual smoker—however there are a number of scenes spanning the entire series that suggest he does both smoke and use drugs recreationally.
Other than the two moments you mentioned (Heaven Can’t Wait [9.06] & Born Under a Bad Sign [2.14]) most other references are to drugs. Weed, LSD and prescription medication, among others, are mentioned throughout the series.
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but Dean’s drug use is mentioned in at least the following episodes: 2.04, 2.05, 2.10, 3.10, 4.07, 4.20, 5.11, 6.14, 6.21, 8.01 and 8.14.
A few of the more notable scenes can be seen in this gifset created by Tumblr user yourdarlinglittlesammy
Notes:
- The episodes listed above were taken from a speculative meta on Dean’s drug use, written by Tumblr user defilerwyrm near the end of season eight. Only the episodes with clear textual references to Dean’s drug use have been listed here.
- If there are any more examples you know of, please let us know and we’ll gladly add them to the list.
- In an early version of the pilot script (which was published as a DVD extra in the Season One box set) Dean is shown smoking on the very first page. While it shouldn’t be taken as canon, it’s definitely an interesting read—you can read a copy of it here!
Drunk Cas in the bar was the gayest thing to ever gay. I was very pleased with that scene (the comments about April being the only exception) and also very relieved, considering that this was the same writing team that gave us 9×03 and the most ooc Cas i’ve ever seen (again, aside from him calling April hot.)
No kidding! Not only was Cas peacocking (look at me do human right, Dean!) and totally failing at being nonchalant, but Dean was unconvincingly trying to be stoic in his efforts to push Cas away. Both were overcompensating by miles.
Then we have some interesting End!verse parallels and this scene is heightened from mere Destiel subtext, or Cas seemingly acting OOC again, to something a little more sinister and heartbreaking.
Cas to Dean: “Hey, you once told me you don’t choose what you do, it chooses you.”
This is an interesting statement regarding free will. There’s a difference between being called to do something and having no other choice but to do something. It’s often a confusing issue and herein is highlighted the difference. Cas has a calling to help. He is listening to his heart and in so doing finding a little peace at being human. Dean, is doing the opposite. Denying himself, and Sam, free will. He is noticeably not at peace.
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